just a few things...

Sometimes I send an e-mail to my mom and sister with the subject "Just a Few Things..." They are usually really funny.  I put things Bailey has said or funny things from the week.  This is just going to be a few things from the last few weeks:

*Went to the OB yesterday.  Everything is great so far.  I'm technically 30 weeks 5 days (as of today).  Adilyn Cate is measuring 34 weeks.  However, I am not a skinny thing so the doctor says that 1 cm of that is probably just my extra belly weight.  Either way, she is measuring 3 weeks ahead.

*Bailey is getting VERY excited to meet her baby sister.  I just hope she is still excited when she actually gets here!  If you ask her what her sister's name is, she practically yells "ADILYN CATE!"  I said, "what if we just call her Adilyn?  Or what if we call her Adi?"  NO MAMA, HER NAME IS ADILYN CATE!
So, I guess (at least as far as big sister goes) she will be Adilyn Cate.  And, I'm sure she will get onto you if you call her otherwise.

*My dad wound up back in the hospital on Dec. 23rd.  It was VERY scary!  Luckily, he was having a reaction to some medication and he is just fine.  But, over the last 3 Christmas's we have had 3 deaths, one almost fatal car accident (of my grandpa), and a trip to the ER with Bailey where they told her her heart was in the wrong place (they were wrong but it was still scary).  So, every time we get a call around Christmas time telling us somthing could potentially be wrong, we get very nervous.

*We visited my parents for Christmas and it was LOTS of fun.  We took Bailey to the square in Fayettevill and took her to Fun City.  It was a BLAST!  Very inexpensive and the whole family got to play.

*I'm WAAAAAY excited to watch this year's (or next years 2012) Rose Bowl Parade.  My sister is in the Siloam Springs Band and they will be marching.  So, if you watch, look for the brunette with the sleigh bells. :)  They will all look the same but you can still pretend you saw her.  I'm so excited!  We have always had a good band and when I was in school we went to the Citrus Bowl Parade.  It was fun b/c that happened to be the year that the Razorbacks went to the Citrus Bowl and the Razorback band paid for our entire band to attend the game.  So, I'm SUPER pumped to watch Monica on Monday!

*My 34 week ultrasound (a perk of having gestational diabetes is an extra ultrasound) will be on January 23.  This will help us get an estimate on how big Adi is.  (Side-note, I am not super fond of the name Adi but I'm sure she will be called that so I am preparing myself, I do love Adilyn though) :).  I will have another ultrasound at 36 weeks with my doctor just to see how things are going.  Yesterday, she said I am at greater risk of having a still birth b/c of my gestational diabetes.  But, I am not worried.  I had GD with Bailey and controlled it with diet (like I am now) and she was fine.  Doctor said that normally there aren't complications and when there are it is normally with patients who are on insulin.  I guess I have pregnant brain b/c total I had gained 5 pounds my entire pregnancy.  I thought it was 2.  Anyway, I had lost 4 at yesterday's appointment which puts me at a total gain of 1 pound!  I know there are still several weeks to put on a few pounds but I'm happy with her gaining and me not!

Here are a few (but not many b/c we used my moms camera for the weekend) pictures from the last few days:

Ticker

I updated the ticker at the top of my page.  I had it set with Shamrocks for our "March" baby.  But... yesterday, the OB said that because I am diabetic they will have to induce at 39 weeks.  I posted to facebook that she moved my due date up a week.  I guess technically that's not true.  She isn't moving my actual due date she just said she won't let me go past 39 weeks.  So, I just changed the ticker to show that she will definitely be here by then. :)

Baby is measuring 30 weeks.  I'm very strict and good on my diet.  I had to take my glucose chart yesterday and she was very pleased with my numbers.  She told me that she expects me to eat cake on my 30th birthday in February, haha.  My last 2 appointments were in the morning so I didn't eat before I went.  Originally, between months 2-4 I gained 5 pounds.  But, every appointment after that I had lost weight.  So, until yesterday, I was down to my pre-pregnancy weight.  Yesterday, my appointment was at 4.  Obviously I couldn't go all day without eating!  I am now up 2 pounds since I got pregnant but my next appointment is in the morning so I imagine those will vanish :)  She said baby and water weighs at least 5 pounds by now so in reality, I have lost a few pounds.  All in all, things are good!  I feel a lot of pressure which she said is normal for a 2nd pregnancy.  It's getting closer and I cannot wait to meet this little girl!

28 weeks

Decided not to dress in black... I think I like black better!  NO, I KNOW I like black better!  I go to the doctor tomorrow so we shall see if the weight loss continues or ends. :(  I'm gonna say it's probably ended.  My last 2-3 appointments have been in the morning and I don't eat first, lol.  Tomorrow's appointment is at 4 and I KNOW I cannot go all day without eating. But still, not expecting an 8 pound gain or anything :)

In Exactly One Month

Our baby will be 4!  I can hardly believe it.  Every year, I write her a special poem for her birthday and include it with her invitation.  I just finished it today.  I'm SO SO SO SO thankful that I have done this since her 1st birthday.  I hope that she will cherish them for many years.  I wasn't going to put them all here, because I thought I had them all blogged but, I don't.  So... In order from 1-4, here are her poems.  I hope that I can keep this up for baby sister as well. (and I had to re-type 2 of the 4 so there are probably some typos) :)

First Birthday:
For many months we prayed and prayed
And wondered and hoped until she came

The day she was born was the happiest of all

For mommy and daddy, we were in awe



And through the months we’ve laughed and played

And thanked God every SINGLE day

For our blessing from above

We never knew there was such love



And now our baby crawls and grooves

It’s oh so fun to watch her moves

A tiny baby, she is no more

The toddler years we are in for



Our little one is the most precious thing

And happiness she will always bring

So, please join us at her party so fun

For Bailey Grace is turning ONE!!

And the invite:

For birthday's 2-3 we just had regular invites but here are the poems:

2:
In January,
Two-thousand Eight
Our sweet baby girl
Made our lives great!

In January,
Two-Thousand Nine
We wondered
Where had gone the time?

Our baby girl
Was turning one
And we thought it
Was oh so fun!

But time kept going
It did not stop
She learned to walk
And talk, A lot!

She's learned to sing
And learned to dance
There is nothing cuter
Than watching her prance

Time really does fly
When we're having fun
Our sweet little girl
Reminds me of the sun

So bright and sweet
And full of joy
Remind me again
why I wanted a boy?

So here we are,
Two-Thousand Ten
It's time for Bailey's Birthday
AGAIN!

We hope you join us
She'd love to see you!
For Princess Bailey
Is turning 2!

3:
When you were born,
We loved you so
Your giggles and coos
we didn't know

That as you grew
We'd love you even more
Our precious bay girl
The one we adore.

And when you were two
OH MY! We thought
Those cabinet doors,
They got their locks!

At two you learned
That nothing was too tall,
Nothing was to big, and you were NOT too small!

And even then,
We loved you more
As we continued to
All the hallways and floors.

And now that you're three
and we're watching you grow
There is one more thing,
We want you to know!

We feel so blessed
 to be our Father and Mother
Even when,
You are covered, In BUTTER!


And here is year 4 that I completed today:

Being 4


Was it not yesterday I held you,

For the very first time?

And I could hardly believe

You are actually mine.



When mommy and daddy looked at you,

Our lives changed forever.

No one could ever take your place,

Not now, and surely not ever



Turning 4 brings lots of things!

A great big year for you!

This year you’ll become a sister!

And then you’ll start school, too!



And though you’re more than ready,

To start Pre-K this year,

There is one thing you need to know

Clothes, to school, you must wear!



We are oh so proud of you,

And love to watch you grow.

You’re my favorite big girl, Bailey Grace

This, I want you to know!

96

There are 96 days left until baby Estes is due.  I assume she will come a bit early but who knows?  I feel like I haven't blogged in forever but I guess it's only been 2 weeks (easy to tell when you post pregnancy updates, lol).  There's not really a lot going on.  I'm really uncomfortable and I know it's just getting worse. School is really hard right now.  I don't know if it's just me being emotional or if something is really weird here.  Anyway, I'll be glad when the baby is born and I can have a few weeks off.  And at this point a few is about it.  A couple weeks ago, my dad had emergency open-heart surgery.  It was pretty scary but he is ok now.  And, I had to take a day off to have my 3 hour glucose test.  I'm trying so hard to keep my sugar down and most days I do pretty well.  At my OB appointment last Wednesday I had lost another pound!  I'm trying not to be overly thrilled b/c originally I gained 5 and now I've lost it so I just weigh what I did when I got pregnant but I still have 3 months to put some pounds on, lol.  Though, on Saturday, I start my 6th month.  During my 5th month with Bailey I gained 8 pounds so I'm glad that is not happening (yet anyway). :)

24 weeks and pictures

24 weeks 1 day :)

Bailey broke the mirror so I had to turn it upside down and of course, that's the dirty side.  And I always forget not to wear black but it's SO hot today I don't want to wear long sleeves!

 Sister, wasn't having the best time at the shower so Memaw Janet (my mom) told her a story to calm her down before she could open her "big sister" present.

 I am SO Swollen but at least my girl is adorable (as usual) :)

 She is SUCH a poser!

 And this is Zach's cousin's wife.  She is about 5 weeks farther along than me.  Her mom made some comment as SOON as she walked in the door that I MUST be due any day since Kandi is due in January.  She was MORTIFIED when I told her I wasn't due until March 4.  It really doesn't bother me, honestly.  I got big fast with both of my babies and my mom did too.  Bailey was a perfect size and even if this one is bigger, it's just one of those things.  And, as you can see, Kandi is only a foot taller than me!

Viability and a baby shower

Well, I promise to post pictures later.  I have been sick most of the day.  Head colds are NO fun and I have given this baby as much medicine as I feel comfortable with today.  I have finally reached viability.  I DEFINITELY want this little girl to stay put for several more weeks, but I am so happy that I have finally reached viability!

Also, Zach's family threw us a nice shower today and I got lots of cute things (and lots of stuff I don't need, lol) but it was fun and I feel so blessed. 

Sunday

I have a fun post coming up Sunday!  Wish I could post it now but I don't have pictures now :)

Wedding princess

My little girl is growing up TOO fast!  I love her to pieces! 

E-mail

I got these in an E-mail today!  SO FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!

A foot

I have to document this so that I don't forget (also, I have an ultrasound this afternoon so I will probably do an update to this post laster today or tomorrow).

This morning I had cafeteria duty at school.  I can't stand for 25 minutes without my back throbbing so I pulled up a chair.  I could feel the baby wiggling around since I had just had a breakfast sandwich and a small coffee but I didn't think much about it b/c she always moves after I eat.  I happened to look down and her little foot poked out!  Just for a second but it was the NEATEST thing!  I coulnd't make-out toes or anything but she is getting so big!  She's REAL!  I mean, I knew she was real but it's just such an awesome thing to be able to see and feel her outside the womb.  Hopefully daddy and sister get to feel her soon!

21

I honestly can't tell a lot of difference between 13-21 weeks.  But, I'm not gaining weight so maybe that's why :)

Miss. Anna

Every year (ok 5 of the 6 years I have worked at this school) we have gotten a staff tee shirt.  This year, Bailey got one too.  I guess there must have been extras becaue yesterday, there was on in my mailbox with a note that said "For Bailey".  Recently, Bailey got a school desk from her papa who works for a different school dstrict who did a lot of downsizing over the summer.  So, thus was born, Miss Anna:

 I'm not sure where she came up with the name Anna but that is what she calls herself when she plays teacher, or librarian. 

She was SO excited when I brought this shirt home to her.  She said "Now, I can be a teacher like mommy."  She loves to also play library and "cost" the books, haha.

And on a different note:
Last night we were at dinner out in PUBLIC and my child loudly asked:
"What's my other mom's name?"
"WHAT?" I said.  "You don't have 2 moms!  You have ONE mommy and ONE daddy, that is all!"
MY GOSH, what has my child seen or heard?

Also, from the picture it looks as though I don't actually let her play in the playroom.  I do, really!  I just try VERY hard to keep it tidy!

Excitement and anxiety

Isn't it funny how excited we get to be pregnant, and have a baby only to realize ... "oh yeah, at some point I have to go through labor AND delivery in order to meet this little person!"  I told my mom that I feel like anxiety over L & D is worse the 2nd time because I know what to expect.  Of course I can't STILL feel the pain of childbirth but I know it was the most horrible thing I've EVER EVER EVER experienced!  EVER!  I just keep pep talking myself that it only lasts a few hours and it's worth it in the end.  I am SO excited to have this baby!  But ready to have the labor part over with, haha.  Of course, not until it's time.  I don't want time in the NICU!

20 week visit and big sister

The doctor was very impressed yesterday that I have LOST 2 pounds!  It probably had something to do with the fact that I hadn't eaten or had anything to drink before my appointment.  However, my last appointment it was only about 100 degrees outside and I wore a lot less clothes.  Yesterday, I wore pants and long sleeves (yes, I think about how to dress before I go to the doctor, what shoes will slip off easily to get on the scale and so on, lol).  Anyway, the baby's heartbeat was 140.  She is SUCH a wiggler!  She moves around a LOT more than her sister did.  Also, my blood pressure was high.  The nurse seemed concerned but the doctor didn't.  It could have just been walking into the office.  I know that sounds silly but my heart is going crazy lately and just taking a shower is almost nap-worthy and I'm not kidding.  Zach thinks I'm sick all the time but honestly, I literally have NO energy.  No matter what I do.  I know some of it is stress and I may be suffering from a mild case of depression but I think it's all because of stress.  So, we have another ultrasound on Thursday and I can't wait to see how much this baby weighs.  She is such a huge little blessing and I can't wait to meet her (when it's time, of course) :)
And, because she is SO cute, here is a picture of big sister after she fell asleep last night.  NOTHING makes me happier than a freshly bathed girl all snuggled up beside me.

Yes, even when it's 65 degrees in the house, my girl REFUSES to sleep in clothes. :)

Bailey Grace, you are always going to be mommy's princess! 

Her name...

Her name means Woman of Magdala. Which refers to Mary Magdalan in the bible.  The other meaning is Noble/Kind.  We are keeping her name a secret... for now. :)

Oh, and it's NOT Madalyn. :)

Still working on a middle name.  I still like Cate or Kate.  Daddy thinks it needs 2 syllables... Daddy's are silly.   And, this name we picked out is not FOR SURE because daddy just can't agree to it when there are still 18 weeks left (Ok, I'm being optimistic that I only have 18 weeks left) :)

1/2 way there!

20W 1D

See my little helper to the side :)  She said "Mama, what are you doing?"

Baby girl

Baby girl has hardly been moving the last 2 days. I'm sure she is fine. I imagine she is growing and just sleeping a lot. Every time I really start to think something is wrong, she gives me a good kick or jab. I can already tell she is nothing like her sister. I feel a lot of emotions lately. I'm overwhelmed with joy to have this baby! At the same time, I'm overwhelmed with fear at our financial situation. Zach promises we will be fine. It's just not fair that we both have full time jobs and we can't keep up even when we aren't being frivolous. It's So frustrating. I keep telling myself not to worry because God is in control. We are so much better off than other people even in our own societies. God keeps reminding me that he will take care of us and our beautiful girls. Baby girl (who I REALLY want to name Adelynn Cate) has literally enough clothes to last a full 2 or more years! The good thing about having another winter baby is that she should be able to wear most of Bailey's stuff that hardly got worn (literally some of it still has tags). My fear is that I won't be able to enjoy her because I will be worried about how we are going to make the house payment. It just isn't fair!

19 W 1 D

Didn't have a lot of time this morning so this is as good as it gets, lol.

The name game

What are we going to name little 2.0?  Bailey was SO easy!  We had a couple lists going but honestly, Bailey Grace beat out everything fairly quickly and it was a no-brainer for us.  Honestly, we spent more time discussing how to spell it then we did coming up with it.  I really didn't want a weird spelling so we just went with Bailey.  But, here we are again, almost 4 years later.  We had a good little 5 name list for a boy.  We were narrowing it and probably would have chosen: Hudson or Bennett.  But, this girl thing, this is hard!  Zach's in love with Addison.  Or at least he was until he looked up on his name app that Addison is a very popular American name right now.  I picked Adalyn.  NOT Adaline.  I really like Adalyn.  I don't think Zach's sold on it.  But, if this baby comes the same amount of early as her sister, we still have 19 weeks left, ha!  Of course, I can already tell you that 2.0 has a mind of her own and is NOTHING like her sister!  Bailey was the BEST infant I could have asked for (except she NEVER slept).  She's not such an easy toddler/pre-schooler.  She's VERY polite but she is also VERY high-maintenance!  I love her!  She's everything I ever wanted!  I know sister will be too but I REALLY want to pick a name!  We've talked about sticking with a B name or going with something that ends in "ey" but we are so far, having NO luck!  Pray for us, lol.

IT'S A ...

Please don't say anything on facebook yet :)  Zach wants to tell our work friends in person tomorrow (not that I haven't texted a few, hehe).  I am EXTATIC!  Zach is not quite as excited as I am but he is still going to love his girl!

A new day

Well, today is a new day and I am feeling a lot better.  Pregnancy is so crazy!  It's such an experience.  One day I feel on top of the world and the next I feel like I'm falling into a dark hole!  I told one my teacher friends this morning that if I could just throw-up some hormones, I might feel better, lol!  But today, I feel pretty good.  The baby is very active and LOVES his/her sister!  Bailey talks to my belly and the baby literally goes nuts.  Last night I thought it was going to jump right out!  I love those feelings.  I don't think Bailey will love her brother/sister as much when it's first born but I know she will learn to love him/her.  She is really excited about being a big sister.  My in-laws paid for a 3D ultrasound and we are going tomorrow at 4 to have it done.  I got a GREAT deal at http://www.livingsocialdeals.com/ AND if they can't determine gender, they will bring me back to try again for FREE.  Also, Baby is measuring over-all and average of 2 days early.  Not a lot but I KNEW my due date wasn't exactly right.  That puts me closer to 19 weeks!  I haven't taken a picture this week but I will soon.  I am glad I'm taking these pictures.  It's fun to see how much I've grown.  Hopefully I can tell you tomorrow what the baby is! 

Frustrated

Well, not that you haven't already read this on facebook but, we still don't know what the baby is.  It was a horrible experience and the baby looks good and is doing well, we just don't know what it is.  I literally cannot talk about it without crying HARD.  Zach's mom is paying for a 3D ultrasound for us and I am grateful for that.  I've basically been crying since our appointment.  We have a lot of other things going on right now and I know that it's worse for me b/c I'm pregnant but I really could use some prayers!

On Birth and Cloth Diapers

First of all, I hope not to offend anyone but I'm annoyed.  I HONESTLY do not understand people who want to have their babies at home or are SO obsessed with having a natural delivery.  It's really annoying.  There are definitely things I have done as a mom that go against the medical profession for normal!  For example, we did NOT have quad testing done on either of our babies.  WHY would I?  I guess if Zach or I had some disorder/disease that was harmful we might but I just don't find the extra worry necessary during pregnancy.  We also opted not to give Bailey ALL of her imunizations.  As teachers, we both work with autism every day.  It's never been 100% proven that immunizations cause Autism but I also wanted to do whatever I could to limit the chances of my child getting it.   This is also why I avoid ALL seafood (tuna included) when I am pregnant.  But, people who preach about having babies with no medication are just nuts!  If you don't HAVE to put your body through that then why do it?  I feel the same way about those cloth diaper freaks!  The ones who act like if you don't use cloth diapers then your baby will most certainly grow up with a never-ending butt rash.  I'm not saying either is wrong (cloth diapers or natural childbirth) I just get annoyed with those people who act like it's the ONE and ONLY option.

Dr. Appointment (update)

*UPDATE*:  The hospital called this morning and scheduled my gender ultrasound for Monday afternoon.  I am SERIOUSLSY excited!

I had another OB appointment yesterday at 3:30.  This was re-scheduled from last Friday's appointment that was supposed to be at 2:50 because my doctor was delivering a baby.  When I got there about 3:05 yesterday (yes, I'm anal about getting there early) they said "Oh, the doctor is over at the hospital doing a delivery, do you want to re-schedule or wait?"  I said that since this was already a re-scheduled appointment I wanted to wait.  I'm so glad I did!  The nurse went ahead and called me back took my vitals and weight UGH!  I was really scared but I've only gained 4 pounds and if you've seen my pictures I am huge!  So, that is good!  About 4:10 the doctor came back.  Since they had cancelled all of her other appointments I was first in line!  YAY!  Of course it was just a normal check-up.  But, Baby's heartbeat was 141.  And I asked her lots of questions about some strange symptoms I'm having and she said her guess is that baby is a boy and everything I'm experiencing is normal.  So that's good.  We also put in the referral for my big gender ultrasound and the nurse said I can do it next week if the hospital has any openings.  I CANNOT WAIT!!!! :)

Sister, puppy, and the 17 week bump

This is a video of Bridget chasing Bailey.  All you can hear is me talking and it's fuzzy from my not-so-awesome cell phone but still cute! :)

And this is the 17 W 2 D baby bump.  I have an undershirt on today so you can see the bottom of it which is why it looks a little funny.  (Oh, and I wanted to say that this is Bailey's mirror) :)  That's why it's so dirty!  She loves to look at herself, lol.

17 weeks

No picture today.
I have been a little down because when the baby was still low in my pelvis I could almost always feel it moving around.  Now that it's moved about half-way up my belly I haven't been able to feel it for a week.  But this morning I have been able to feel it again and it's a WONDERFUL feeling.   We listen to little Estes every day and it's so funny because sometimes it will kick and you can hear it on the heart monitor even though I can't always feel it.  I also think it's very interesting (and maybe it's still coincidence) but I read that during this week the baby can start to hear voices and typically dad's first b/c it's deeper.  Yesterday while we were listening to it, Zach was talking to him/her and it REALLY started going nuts.  I couldn't feel it but you could really hear it kicking on the monitor.  I don't know how to explain what it sounds like unless you've used a fetal heart monitor before b/c it obviously doesn't sound like someone kicking a door down, lol.  It's more like a swooshing noise but it's very loud.  I can't wait until daddy and big sister can feel the baby move.  Bailey just LOVES that she is going to be a big sister and I am SO excited!  I will take a picture in my skirt tomorrow and probably post some pics of sister too.  I have a cute video of her playing with the new puppy and hopefully I can get it to load. 

Want to know the sex of the baby?

SO DO I!  Tomorrow, I have my 16/17 week appointment.  I hate my due date, lol.  I don't know why I care so much but I just wish she would move it by just FOUR days.  I'll be 17 weeks on Sunday.  So, we should schedule my Ultrasound at tomorrow's appointment.  We are all really anxious.  When we found out we were having Bailey we both really wanted a boy.  I just thought it would be fun to have a boy first becuase I have no brothers.  I just thought a boy could be the older/protective brother.  But, I honestly thought Bailey was a girl.  I never wanted to admit it though.  When we found out for sure she was a girl I could not have been happier.  So, this time I still don't care.  I did!  At first I was scared that this baby might be a boy but now I really don't care.  I really want to know though.  We are all really anxious.  So, what do you think?  BABY BLUE or PRETTY PINK?

Something Special

I was in the grocery store on Monday night and the FIRST person I saw was this adorable little Asian woman who was about 7 months pregnant.  Of course, who am I to guess how far along someone is.  I'm only 4 months and look about 10.  Either way, in that moment, I realized that there is something special about seeing a pregnant mommy and not feeling sorry for yourself because it's not you.  I felt so blessed in that moment to have this baby growing inside of me.  Even if I want to throw up every day and I have no energy.  I am still SO happy to have another baby and to give my daughter a sibling. 

Then, my heart hurt thinking about my friends who haven't experienced this but want to so badly.  Infertility is a sad reality for so many people and that makes me sad.  I pray for my friends and hope their babies come soon.

16 weeks (1day)

Compared to 13W 3 Day

I look a littler smaller than I did at 13 weeks.  I think I must have been really swollen then.

cravings and doppler

I have a huge addiction to tropical skittles right now!  It's too bad we are almost out of money until pay day on Sept 26th.  They sell them in the vending machine at school and I want them every day after lunch. 

On another note: The fetal doppler arrived yesterday. It took quite a while and I had to move in different positions, but we finally found baby's heartbeat.  The monitor won't measure how fast it is but at least we can hear it.  This morning when I tried on my own it didn't take me long to find it.  I think the denial is wearing off.  I'm looking forward to finding out the sex of the baby.  Can't wait to know what we're having!  I think it's probably a boy but I thougth Bailey was a boy and was surprised when the nurse said girl.  But, I was thrilled too.  So, I hope if it is a boy, I will be excited.  I'm still nervous about having a boy :)

Denial

I am living in denial.  About this baby, that is.  I'm not fearful of losing it.  I mean, I guess that's not completely true because I think to some extent all mothers have some fear of losing their baby.  The feeling I have is more of a disbelief that in 5 1/2 months I am going to have 2 children.  What if I love one of them more than the other?  What if I push the older one away because she is too rough and I'm tired?  What if I have severe post-pardum depression again?  What if breastfeeding makes me feel violated like last time and I can't do it?  Every time I have these thoughts I think about how most people do not just have one child.  We (most of us) start with one and then have more.  Before I was married I wanted a whole housefull of kids.  I was ALWAYS babysitting and I just knew my life would never be complete without LOTS of kids.  But, it's hard.  It's very hard to be a mom.  And, when Bailey was little and I was so depressed there were honestly days when I didn't think it was worth it.  Of course, that was a passing thought but still, I just don't believe that I am about to have 2 children.  However, I can feel the one inside me moving around so this must be a passing thought as well...

Loving too hard

Poor Bridget doesn't stand much chance with Bailey.  I had NO idea what it would be like to keep Bailey from loving her too hard!  She carries her around by the neck sometimes.  I have visions of my 2 week old being pulled from it's crib and drug down the stairs by my 4 year old!  This is definitely a good teaching process for our girl.  I have done LOTS of explaining that Bridget is a baby and she has to be careful with her.  Yesterday Bridget fell off the ottomon.  Bridget isn't big enough to get on the ottomon by herself so I wonder how she got up there?...
I think this is payback for when my mom had my sister and I put her on the couch at 2 weeks old and told my mom she crawled!  And, I asked if we could flush my sister down the toilet when my mom and dad brought her hoe from the hospital!

Hopefully Bridget survives and so does my newborn in the hands of his/her sister!

Bridget

This is our new puppy. 

Her name is Bridget.

She is 8 weeks old.

She was not cheap but she is a full-blood Shih Tzu and we think she's pretty adorable!

Zach thought it would be funny to give her a name that started with a B since our other dog is Benjamin and of course, our princess is Bailey.  Don't look for new baby to have a B name unless it's a boy.  Then, it MIGHT be a possibility.  But, we aren't the dug.gars.  We do love our new little puppy though.  She is very sweet and she loves her mommy.  If Baby Estes is a girl, daddy is in BIG estrogen trouble!

Puppies

Our neighbors have AKC registered Shih Tzu puppies.  They are ADORABLE!

I think we may have to buy one!