Thursday, December 31, 2009

This is a before and after shot of Bailey's new bathroom. It looks pretty SMURF blue. I was going for the color of Ariel's sea or Cinderella's dress at the end of the movie but instead, wound up with SMURFS taking over! The pictures that follow show you how to "tame a smurf." Also, ths new shower curtain is WAY COOL! It's called "hookless" and it's cheaper b/c you don't have to buy all of the hooks to go on it! Anyway, Several people have asked for pics of the house so I'm posting... One room at a time :)

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Because I promised...

All I have as of yet are pictures of the entry but hopefully I will have more soon. I hope to paint the half bath today :)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Fit for a Princess...

I painted Bailey's new room (ALL BY MYSELF) I might add! I actually kind of enjoyed doing it! I'm REALLY pleased with the way the color turned out. It's called "Haystack Yellow." I got it at Home Depot. It's the Gliden brand/semi gloss (I'm actually typing this in case I lose the sticker and need more, lol). Anyway, I absolutely LOVE her room. It only took one coat of paint and an hour! I'm so excited about how it turned out. And the best part is... She is asleep in her OWN bed tonight (That's right Lillie, I did it!!!!)

We are getting moved in to our new house and we LOVE it. I must admit that I am praying for peace as I know we will have to make a mortgage payment on it starting in February. I know we can do this I just pray we are smart with our money. I promise to post pictures of some of the rest of the house soon. (NO, I cannot come over and paint any of your rooms. I still have 2 bathrooms and a kitchen to paint in mine) :). But, I leave you with pictures of Bailey's new room. The framed "Cinderella" pictures I have had since I was a teenager. I hoped to one day have a daughter to give them too. So, this was a very special moment for me and when Zach finished hanging everything, I must admit to being a little emotional! Enjoy! and Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday to Bailey :)

Well, we had pictures made! Since Bailey's birthday is in January, we are able to do Christmas and Brithday photos all at the same time! However, it still isn't cheap! 200 dollars later, here is what we got! We are THRILLED with thsese I can't wait to hang them in the new house!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

23 months

*(This post was started on Sunday so I'm a few days late getting it up.)

My baby is 23 months old today, I can't believe how time has flown! She is SO busy and into EVERYTHING! Sometimes, I think "God, why is this so hard? Am I really cut-out to be a parent?" Last night, after 2 hours of screaming, crying, and refusal to go to bed I just sat there crying. I try to hard to be a good mommy and to give her everything she needs but she has definitely hit the terrible two's and as her parents, we have got to be patient to correct her behavior. I sound like she's so horrible! She's NOT! We love her more than life! She is just a very, very strong willed little princess. She reminds me of the song "I know what I want and I want it now!" I am extremely happy that we will be moving into our new house NEXT FRIDAY! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! It will be so much easier on her having a routine and her own room and play room. I wouldn't trade her for the world but my desire for 4 children has been shot for the moment.

Her 2nd birthday:

Bailey will be 2 on January 6th. We bought her these 2 little dresses for her birthday (among other things) and I cannot wait for her to wear one of them to her party!!!!

I believe she is having a "pincess" party because you can buy a big princess party kit at wal.mart for 40 dollars! Every time we ask her about her birthday she says, "PINCESS PARTY" Or "DORA PARTY" But you can't get Dora at wal.mart so we're gonna do princess instead. I need to get started on her birthday poem. I wrote this one last year:

For many months we prayed and prayed

And wondered and hoped until she came

The day she was born was the happiest of all

For mommy and daddy, we were in awe

And through the months we’ve laughed and played

And thanked God every SINGLE day

For our blessing from above

We never knew there was such love

And now our baby crawls and grooves

It’s oh so fun to watch her moves

A tiny baby, she is no more

The toddler years we are in for

Our little one is the most precious thing

And happiness she will always bring

So, please join us at her party so fun

For Bailey Grace is turning ONE!!

And this was her invite:
This year, she will probably just have a normal invite, but I will put the poem on the inside. I can't wait to show all of you the pictures of her party and our new house!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Long time

Ok, I know it's been a long time since I've posted. I just haven't had a lot to say. 18 days until we close on our house. 18 LOOOOONG days! We are still a little nervous with the economy the way it is, they could say "nevermind" to our loan. But, we are continuing to pray that all goes well. We bought new bedding for all of our beds. I am so excited that we will have new bedding at our new house and our guests will have nice new bedding as well. We got a great deal at Garden Ridge on bedding.

We had a very busy holiday. I think we had 5 Thanksgiving meals! Bailey has had an ear infection and was pretty cranky the entire weekend but that's understandable. We visited a lot of family and ate WAY too much. I'm very excited to get into my 2 story house. Hopefully I can get some weight off. UGH!

We took Bailey to the square in Arkansas this weekend when we visited my parents. We forgot our camera but my mom took some pictures. As soon as she finds her camera I can post them. Bailey LOOOOVES "petty lights" She loves snowmen, "santy claus" and trees. She is so much fun this year. I just love that baby girl!

Anyway, hopefully pictures will be coming soon :)

Saturday, November 14, 2009


These are not our decorations. We haven't moved in yet :)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

We bought a house!

I can't post pictures b/c there aren't any now that the house has a contract on it :(. But, we should have an inspection sometime this week and I asked Zach to take pictures for me to post. So, please remember to pray for us! This is a big deal :)

Friday, November 6, 2009

22 Months!

My sweet girl is 22 months today! I cannot believe how fast time has FLOWN by! She is growing by the minute! I am getting nervous about what to do for her 2nd birthday. I don't know that we will be in our own house by then and I'm wondering what I should do! AAHH!

Also, for my IF friends:
I just logged onto facebook and one of the advertisements on the sidebar said "Shady Fertility Clinic" REALLY? Yes, let me get knocked up by those "shady" people! HAHA, I just thought it was a horrible name for a fertility clinic! How would you like to go there?

Monday, November 2, 2009

The Morning Called Monday

Twas the morning called Monday
And through the commune
Not a person was stirring,
Except Bailey boo

“Milky”, she said
I pretended not to hear.
“MILKY, MILKY” she cried.
So I got off my rear.

She drank her milk
So silently and still
She’ll go back to sleep
I’m sure of it, I feel

But as soon as she finished
What did I hear?
“Wordy, Wordy, Wordy”
Right up in my ear.

“Daddy Tooted” she said
“No dear that was a snore
Now go back to sleep
We don’t get up at 4!”

Then fast as lighting
I felt her on my back
“You weady Mommy”
Hop, hop, then crack.

She hopped on my back
Then fell to the bed
I giggled at this
“Go back to sleep,” I said.

“More Milky” she asked
“No, No, not more”
“Milky”, she cried
And I walked out the door.

With milk in hand,
She played with my ear
My angel went to sleep
My sweet little dear.

By this time,
It was 5:38
I must get up!
I can’t be late.

Most mornings are like this
I cannot deny
But I cannot ignore her
Even when I try

I turned back around
And looked at her face
How could we not adore her?
Our sweet Bailey Grace.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Prego, or Ragu?

Warning: This post is a little bit deep for me. It's not something I would normally write but in my mind, it makes sense and maybe it will to you as well.


When my mom was pregnant with my baby sister, we started calling her (my mom), Ragu. It made sense to us a teenager and a tween that we would call her that because the night she told us she was pregnant she made spaghetti for dinner. And, well, as you can imagine, prego sounds like Preggo but NO one would ever figure out our clever nickname of ragu. And just so you don't think I'm completely crazy, I'll prove to you that I'm not the ONLY person who has ever made this analogy...

I don't know why I was thinking about this. Maybe it's the fact that my baby sister is going to be 13 this week and part of me is sad. Ok, really, I was buying her a birthday card and started crying! This is what being a mother does to you!

But either way, I was thinking about it and here is what I decided. Sometimes, life is like "prego" and sometimes, life is like "ragu." I remember those days when I wanted to be "prego" so badly and I felt like my life would end if I didn't get pregnant or have a baby. I remember having the same feelings when I wanted to be married and I felt like I was getting SO old and I would never find anyone (I got married at 23!) Now, I have these feelings when I think about buying our next house, paying off debt, and having money to spare. These times in my life, I could refer to as "ragu." I know it really does sound silly to compare your life to a spaghetti sauce but then I started thinking (of course, remember it was like 11 PM and I couldn't sleep) this isn't so silly at all. If you peeled the labels off and made 2 pots of spaghetti, chances are you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the 2 sauces. Now, "imagine" with me a little bit here. Obviously, some people definitely prefer one over the other, but just go with it for a minute, if you will. If I could have "peeled the label" off of my life during those times of sadness, I still would have been the same person. I was still me. I had a purpose, God had a plan for me. I just couldn't see past my "ragu life" to get to it. I think it is important to remember that each day is special. God has a plan for your life no matter what you are going through. Whether you are living in the "prego" world, or the "ragu" world. Your "prego desire" might be different than mine but it's still there. You all know what I'm talking about. So, I just want you all to remember that no matter what is happening whether you are living in the "prego" moment or the "ragu" moment, you are still beautiful, wonderful, and you are STILL you! God has a plan for your life and eventually, the "prego" will come through. You just might have to eat several pots of ragu before it happens. Keep praying for your "prego" life!


Monday, October 19, 2009

A lot of this, a little of that

Well, I went back to work today. 5 days off does a body good! Zach and I house hunted most of the break. We actually made an offer on a house but the deal didn't work out and I think we are both ok with that. It is a beautiful house though, 2500 square feet with TWO master suites! No, I'm not making this stuff up! It's in our price range too. So, maybe after they make a couple more house payments they will be willing to take our offer. However, I have been looking at other houses and found a few more that I like. So, we are focusing on putting some money in the bank and I am patiently waiting for that perfect little (or not so little, actually) house.

In other news... I am not naive to the fact that children make messes, get into things, drive people crazy, and so on. However, you never expect YOUR child to do some of the things they do. For example, yesterday, I got to the toilet JUST as Bailey was saying "Uh Oh" to the quarter she had just flushed. And, the day before that, it was a clothes pin! I did coax her away from sticking her hand in to fish it out (YUCK). We are potty training (not HARD CORE but working on it). The other day, I put her on the potty and just like a big girl she went and was so proud (and so was her mama). Then, a few minutes later (while I was getting dressed) she said "Mama, I pee pee on the floor." Sure enough... I got to clean up a puddle, haha. But, I would not trade this kid for millions!
A LOT OF THIS! We went to Sam's Saturday. I bought some Asiago Pepper cheese. Can you say YUM? OMG! I LOVE cheese, almost any kind! It is SOOOO good! I don't know if all of you have a Sam's (it's like a wal-mart only in warehouse form and they sell everything in bulk) however, I think it's the same as Costco. So, look for the counisseour brand. It's expensive but I DO NOT care! It was a treat to myself and I have loved all that I have eaten so far!
Ok, one more thing...
My Oklahoma~Born baby sporting her Razorback gear. Enjoy...

Monday, October 12, 2009

Fall Break Has (almost) Arrived!!!!

We spent the weekend in Arkansas with my family. My mom said they would buy Bailey a coat as part of her Christmas present since we currently reside in ONE bedroom and don't have a lot of space. This is the coat we picked out and Bailey ABSOLUTELY LOVES it! And, since my VERY favorite color is green, I LOOOOOOOOOVE it too :).
You can't tell from the picture but it has little bows on the sleeves and a bow in the back. She looks like a little eskimo in it. I'll have to post pictures of her in it soon!

As the title says: "Fall Break is (Almost) Here!" I am SO excited for fall break! In Arkansas, we didn't get fall break. We plan to spend Wednesday with our realtor looking at houses. We don't plan to buy yet but we want to see what's out there. The plan is to take Bailey to the pumpkin patch on Thursday or Friday. I'm sure she will look SO much more grown up than she did last year. I can't wait to get new pumpkin patch pictures of her!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Sweet as pie... Or cake!

Sunday, while Bailey and I were napping, Bailey's daddy was busy doing this:

So, when Bailey woke up she had her very own "pincess" cake. Pink cake with purple icing! It was the sweetest thing. Zach used food coloring to color it for her. She was VERY excited.

Now, C'mon girls! How many of your husbands would do this? (Besides you Tiff, we all know your husband is perfect) :)

Sunday, October 4, 2009


It only took FOREVER, but I finally made a new blog header and gave my blog a fresh look. What do you think?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

At least it's not the flu...

Our poor baby girl was sick all weekend! It started Friday evening about 7 when I noticed that Bailey felt warm. I, being the "NON-Freak-outish" (yeah, you like how we English teachers are allowed to make up new words, lol) was not too concerned. Zach and I left her with his mom while we went out for a couple hours and asked her to give her some tylenol if the fever went up. It was only about 99 so of course I thought nothing of it. We got a phone call a couple hours later that her fever had continued to go up and she was SCREAMING for me so we came back home. ALL night she had fever and chills. EVERY 2 hours we gave her tylenol or motrin. Saturday morning I called the triage nurse and she said we HAD to take Bailey to the ER because having chills for more than an hour MUST be checked out. SIX, YES SIX hours later, we had determined it was not the flu OR a urinary tract infection. But, let me just say having to cath a toddler is TRAUMATIZING. Not only for her, but her mommy as well. I felt so bad for my little bug. Then, as things always happen, I wound up sick as well. So, I stayed home with her yesterday. I am feeling a little better and sweet Bailey is doing much better. But, I will admit I was QUITE scared for a while. Her fever never got past 102.5 but I can't imagine what it would have been without the medicine. It really makes me think about how much I love her and that I would do ANYTHING to protect her.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Please don't feed her oranges and grandpa's fried rice

Last night, MeMaw and Papa (Bailey's given names to grandma and grandpa) were having some ice cream. They asked if she could have some. "I don't care." I said. FATAL mistake. I didn't realize that they were going to give her orange sherbet (which I THOUGHT everyone knew she was allergic t0). Last time she had it she went COMPLETELY nuts and wouldn't go to bed. She was bouncing off the walls. Not to mention, the red rash that seems to appear all over her little face (much like the rash she gets from ketchup). I know, my poor baby has ultra-sensitive skin thanks to her mommy's side of the family. Anyway, around bed time we were reading a book and I noticed that Bailey was starting to act more hyped up than calmed down. "Did Bailey eat orange sherbet?" I asked Zach's mom.
"Yes, you said she could have ice cream."
Long story short...
Bailey went COMPLETELY nuts. She started head butting me, and I have quite the black eye this morning because of it.
Please don't feed her orange stuff!

I also wanted to pay a little tribute to my grandpa Carter. He always used to make fried rice for me. It's one of my very favorite things. EVERY birthday or holiday he would make it just for me. I decided to make some last night and I was thinking just how blessed we all were for having him in our lives. He was the most kind-hearted, gentle man I have ever known. I miss him so much since he passed away last December. He wasn't supposed to die and I really don't think my life will ever be quite the same without him. I love you grandpa! I hope you and grandma are having fun in Heaven! I wish Bailey could have gotten to know you! You really were a special person.

Monday, September 21, 2009

You will NOT believe this!

Sunday morning, about 2:45, I woke up to go to the bathroom. My worst nightmare was before me as I entered the barthroom. Sitting inside the bathtub was a mouse! We live out in the country and I knew we had a mouse but we couldn't catch it no matter how many traps we put out. I HATE mice! I think they are nasty beasts and they must die! So, I stood there, frozen in time, wondering what I should do. I finally decided (as my body was almost convulsing from shaking so hard) that my urge to pee was not going to go away. So, I sat as close to the edge of the toilet as I could without wetting on the floor, did my business, and flushed. The whole time, I was starting at this nasty rodent! When I flushed the toilet my little mouse enemy started freaking out and trying to jump out of the tub. I quickly realized it could not get out and I was going to have to drowned it! I don't know how my mind was capable of functioning at a time like this! I realized that I was going to have to pull the rug off the side of the tub because that must have been how the mouse was able to get into the tub in the first place. Since it wasn't big enough to jump out of the tub, it must have climbed up the rug to get into the tub in the first place. Ok, so at this point I am still shaking so much that I feel like I am naked in 2 degree weather. But, first task is completed, rug is off the tub. I then decided (this is where my blonde roots begin to show) that I could throw a towel over the mouse and turn the bathtub on to drown it! This plan did not work because I didn't throw the towel hard enough and the little rodent started trying to climb up the towel. Again, I don't know how I managed to complete the next task without peeing my already emptied bladder but, I grabbed the towel and shook the mouse back into the tub. At this point, the mouse is REALLY freaking out! It didn't know where else to go so it tried to crawl down the drain. "I DON'T THINK SO!" I thought! So I turned on the hot water. I don't know why but the hot water at my in-laws could boil an egg! And, it gets hot REALLY quickly. Mousy didn't like this and crawled quickly back out of the drain. Good, it's feet were wet and it couldn't even begin to crawl out of the tub. It ran to the back of the tub and I felt like I was completing some kind of "Veto" competition on Big Brother because I knew I only had ONE chance to position the bathtub plug JUST right so that it would plug the tub and drown the mouse. Luckily, even in my "shaky" state, I managed with my FIRST try to plug the tub. A few seconds later, my troubles were over. Did you know, it only takes about 15 seconds for a mouse to drown? After it was over, I stood there, staring for at least 5 minutes. I then left a note for my father-in-law that I was sorry about the dead mouse in the tub but I was not going to touch it! Thankfully he is brave and he got it out of the tub. Yesterday, I scrubbed the tub clean of it's rodent ish! I am So glad it's over but so paranoid of it happening again. YUCK!

So, how was your weekend?


Thursday, September 17, 2009

I stayed home from work yesterday. I had a HORRIBLE pain in my side. I honestly think I had a cyst rupture on one of my ovaries. I thought I was in labor (and as far as I know, I'm not pregnant!) It was absolutely the worst pain (besides labor) I have ever felt! Luckily, I am better and back at work today.

Bailey has started doing the funniest thing. The other night, she pulled a cabinet over (almost on herself). It didn't hit her but it did break the cabinet. It's just a small cabinet with one drawer that we keep her diapers on. After it fell, she stood there saying "Oh Baidey, Oh Baidey." It was so cute! She has a book called "Oh, Oh Bunny." It's about a bunny who breaks stuff and tears stuff, and colors on the wall. At the end the bunny tells the truth and helps mommy pick everything back up. So, Bailey has decided every time she does something wrong she will now say "Oh Baidey." She can't pronounce her L sound very well yet so she calls herself Baidey. She is just getting so big.

On another note, I am feeling So much better when I take my medicine. I really didn't think I needed it but I feel SO much more calm and less depressed (which I guess is good since that's what it's for). I hope I don't have to take it for a long time. But, for now I'm glad to have it.

I guess I don't have anything else. I've been following and reading everyone's blogs and looking forward to new belly pics from my pg friends!
Love you all!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Ahh, much better

Well, I am still around. Bailey threw, and broke my camera so I don't have any pictures for you all. Zach has a very nice camera but I really try to stay away from it. :) If it breaks, I don't want it to be my fault! Anyway, I am feeling SO much better. I spent almost 2 and a half hours at my doctor's office last Wednesday afternoon. I left with 6 prescriptions and some allergy samples. I have only had one prescription filled but hopefully I will get my hormone cream tomorrow. Waiting 2 hours for the doctor is NOT my idea of fun but at least she takes care of me. She put me on a low dose anxiety pill and I am feeling MUCH better. It's amazing. I was so almost "offended" to have to take such a thing but I do think it is something I need at least for the time being. I just wanted to let all of you know that I'm still around just busy busy at school. I'll try to update (with pics) soon :)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

First trip to the Zoo.

We took Bailey to the zoo last weekend. It was her first trip and it was SO fun to watch her! She LOVED all of the animals. Every time we got to a new animal I thought "Oh, this is her favorite" But, she was just as excited to see the next, and next, and next animal. :)

On another note:
I find each new "cycle" a little sad. Isn't that kind of silly? I mean, especially after my last post about never having time to myself and feeling like I just want to fall off the planet, some days. However, every time AF shows her self, I do admit to being a little disapointed and a little sad that I'm not pregnant. Does that even make sense? I think there is a part of me that fears B having to be an only child. Another part of me just really loved being pregnant (until about 7.5 months when I was like, ok I'm done). I also loved having a tiny baby. I admit, though that I didn't really bond with B like I should have until she was several months old. I don't know what was wrong with me. I loved her like I always did. I would have done anything for her but I just felt like something was missing in our little relationship. Recently I have discovered a love for her that I think I should have felt long ago. I think this is all part of my mood swings and the depression that I don't want to admit that I have. Still, I do think I'm ready for another baby. I just wish we had a little more money. Someday... we'll have another one. I do understand that you do have to have sex in order to get pregnant. That might be part of the problem, haha. If I could just get little B into her own bed. Now is not a good time. She has an ear infection and was just diagnosed with Eczema.
Anyone have any advice for what to do about her eczema??? I bought some Eucerin and will get the no-scent soap soon. It makes me really sad because I love her smelling like a baby and now she's not supposed to use baby lotion. So, I have decided I will still wash her hair with baby soap and wash her body with the more gentle stuff.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Always a worry

I don't really expect anyone to read this. This is just a post of my current feelings. And, it's a lot faster to type than to write. So, that said...

I find myself in bed crying myself to sleep thinking "when will this (life) get easier?" Does it? I'm pretty sure I never recovered from my post-pardom depression. It's common. More for me since I had gestational diabetes and depression runs in my family. But every time I went to the doctor they just kept saying "if you continue to feel like this come back and see us." Well that's fine but how freaking long did they expect me to feel like this before they did something about it? So, I just stopped asking, put on my happy face and acted like I was happy to receive another exam, more blood work, and waiting 2.5 hours on the doctor is not big deal, right? So, whatever, I will just feel like this and hope that it goes away.

I inherited "worry" from my dad. I love my father. He's the strongest most compassionate man I know. But, he worries. ALL the time. It's a struggle for him. Even as strong a Christian as he is he constantly worries. I praise God that my parents have finally found someone to rent their other house. They own 2 houses but obviously only reside in one of them. They finally found a good couple to rent the other one and just paid off their van so financially they are going to be doing a lot better. Still, though, I get to worry like my daddy.

Why is the most precious word I hear every day the one that gets so annoying after the 100Th time each day. Mamamamamamamamamamamamama! I longed for her to say it! But, Bailey is a momma's girl and my favorite part of the day is coming home to her. She wraps her arms around me when I get home and says "HUG!" It's the sweetest thing. But, by the time I've made dinner, cleaned our ONE room, and colored 100 pictures with her, I need a break. I don't ever get a break. I do, I think, I'm sure I do but I don't feel like I do. She clings to me. I will be sad when she doesn't but right now I wish for her to be able to play by herself for 15 minutes. Don't get me wrong, I love taking a bath with her and listening to her sing. She is our world. Shes just very busy and I have trouble keeping up. I feel like I am constantly in pain. I can't do anything more for my back so I've decided it will just always hurt and I try really hard not to complain about it but it's adding to my sadness because I can't sit and play with her for more than 5 minutes without being in so much pain I have to get up. The pills don't work anymore. Bailey is sleeping better and that is good. But, I wish that I had more time with Z and now that we live with other people (which I actually enjoy because I have people to talk to) the only time we have as a couple is at night but our little angel is right between us and we are so tired now that school has started that we can't talk to each other without waking her or moving her out of the way. So, we just go to sleep (no more babies that way either, right, haha).

I want to be a better teacher this year. I want to be more involved in my students daily work and help them more than I have in the past but it hurts. I can't stand up all day. I wish I didn't have to live in pain. But, I've managed this long.

I want more babies but honestly, can I emotionally handle it? What's wrong with me? Why do I only want to cry all the time? I feel like a bad mother because sometimes I just want to sit alone and do something that I want to do. I feel like it means I don't love her enough. But I promise, I would die for her.
(I couldn't stand the thought of someone hurting this little baby)

I hate that we have so much debt. It consumes me. I stress and fret over it all the time. Now, we sold our house and paid off a lot of stuff and still, the numbers say we still have so much left. I wanted out of it and I thought we were going to be able to get out of it sooner rather than later. But, now I am told it will take longer (and a lot at that) than I thought. So, I tell myself. "Melody, you are going to get some of this paid off and then you are going to buy a new house with a bigger house payment. So, even though you paid debt off you won't be doing any better off because you will have to pay more for a house payment." I don't know how he does it but Z always takes care of the bills and we generally have a little left over to buy groceries or whatever. But, I hate our credit cards and I wish we never even had them to begin with. But that would have been impossible when we were first married. I just thought we were going to get out from under them before we got a new house and now I guess I was reaching a little higher than that. I just don't understand how I managed to get into this situation.

I also tell myself that we have made a lot of progress and as long as we continue we are doing better than we were. But, since I inherited this worrying "gene" I will continue to feel like my life is crumbling right from underneath me. My child will have a bad mother until I feel like I can do better and I won't feel like I have the relationship I want until I have the energy to be as affectionate with him as I want him to be with me. This is no one's fault. Those stupid doctors should have just listened to me when I told them that I WASN'T feeling better! I love B and Z and I would do anything for them. I just feel like I'm always crying on the inside.

If you read this... Kudos to you! You deserve an award. I'm glad I have a place to vent and express my emotions. I probably will feel better now that I've gotten it all out.

Friday, August 14, 2009


I just want to say a HUGE Thank you to all of my bloggy friends for praying for us during this HORRIBLE 2 weeks. I can honestly say I have NEVER been so stressed out like I have been the last 2 days. I couldn't eat, I didn't sleep well, and I kept waking up sick. But, Thanks to all of the prayers, we DID close on the house today and have put the money in the bank and are looking forward to living a debt free life (minus a house when we buy again). I honestly have never felt like so much weight was lifted off of me at one time. So, I can live with my in-laws for even a year if I have to to know that we will have no debt when we move. Again, thank you so much. Those of you who were e-mailing me and giving me encouragement and praying, I really appreciate and love you!

Just to give you a little insight as to how it "went down" this afternoon... First, the buyer was almost 45 minutes late. I was told about 3 hours before closing that the buyer hadn't been told all of her closing costs yet and that we may have an issue. There is a LOT more to the story but I'm really tired right now. This whole process has completely worn me out!

My poor students have not had the best teacher the past couple of days but I am SO ready to move on now!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Back to school!

We spent the weekend in Arkansas with my family. My mom turned the big 5-0 on Thursday and we had a surprise party for her on Saturday night. It was a lot of fun and kept my mind off of other things. I don't have any pictures but my mom did get B on video singing "Twinkle, Twinkle little star" HER FAVORITE SONG!! (Bailey's that is). She is SUCH a little ham! I took her to my mom's office and she sang and danced for everyone and wanted to play with everyone's jewelry, lol. I have SUCH a girl on my hands! I also took her to see my aunt at her work where we picked up some enzymes that my uncle makes. I don't remember if I said this already or not but Bailey is allergic to anything tomato based and she LOOOOOVES ketchup. With these enzymes, I can stir them into her ketchup (they have no taste) and she gets NO rash and more importantly, NO diarrhea the next day. I'm SO thankful to have them! So, now she can eat Ketchup (dip) all the time. :)

The plan is still to close on the house on Friday but we were also promised a loan committment LAST Monday/Tuesday and have been told we will get it FOR SURE tomorrow. So, it concerns me a little that we are already a week behind and NONE of this is my or Zach's fault. We have done EVERYTHING in our power to get this done ON FRIDAY. NO LATER! We turned in ALL of our paperwork on time and have just been waiting and waiting for the lender and underwriters to get their part done. I pray for our buyer EVERY day! I pray for her safety and that she will NOT change her mind. We owe another house payment on the 15th and since closing day is the 14th I want NOTHING more than to close on that day! We NEED this house to be sold! I cannot wait to click the button to pay off some credit cards! And, Zach said he would let me do it! (He normally pays all of our bills). So, please pray for us! We REALLY need everything to go through on Friday.

Also, school starts on Wednesday and Zach and I go back tomorrow. I am always SO excited for school to start even though I am a little sad that summer is over. This year I have a few new ideas up my sleeve and I'm excited to see what the school year holds. Also, I'm EXTREMELY excited that my biggest class (Knock on wood) thus far is only 23 students! Last year it was 30! So, this is going to be a MARVELOUS year! It's so nice to be able to have more one-on-one time with my students. I really want to be able to teach them everything they need to know for 8th grade! I love my job and I'm looking forward to getting back to it (and to not be at home eating ALL the time!) Remember, I had lost 20 pounds? Yeah, I've gained all but 10 back! EERR! So, I plan to go back on somewhat of a diet when school starts.

PLEASE pray for Tiffany! Follow her story HERE and keep up with her if you like. I "met" her through the internet when I was just 15 weeks pregnant with Bailey and she has been ttc for over 3 years. This cycle could really be it for her and her husband. She received a bit of upsetting news this morning (I say it lightly because I really still think things could work out for her). I keep praying for a BFP and I ask you all to do the same. She has seen SO many of her friends get pregnant and have healthy babies. It's really her turn! Thanks for praying and supporting her!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Are you @$%&*#$ Kidding me?

Ok, I am really frustrated right now, but I will start with the things that make me happy.

First, I finally managed to get some pictures taken. We thought if we bought Bailey new princess bedding, she MIGHT sleep in her own bed. So far, no such luck. But, she does love it and it sure is cute!!! Some of the pictures are from last night's princess cake that Bailey got for Grandma for her birthday. Zach's mom's birthday was yesterday and Bailey picked out a princess cake for her (and then guess who got to keep the princesses?) :) Anyway, I didn't sort the pictures for you because my blog isn't cooperating very well and well, I'm too lazy to deal with it. Zach and I are going back to school today to work on our rooms. So, I don't have a lot of time to get this LONG blog done :)

She also got new princess panties :) AND, the outfit behind her is princess too (Daddy went on a shopping spree).
Now, as for how things are going living at "grandma's," So far, so good. Zach's mom has a pool, tanning bed, and Zach just bought me a wireless mouse for my lap top so really what do I have to complain about, lol. Yeah, I know, be jealous of me! (JUST KIDDING). Zach's mom does practically ALL of our laundry AND folds it if I don't get to it fast enough. (She has this thing about laundry. Her machine runs almost all day and she is WAY better than me because she gets them all folded before they even cool off and I am NOT exaggerating)! So, things on this side are well!

Things on the house side, $#*%^^#%@$, You get the idea! We are supposed to close on our house we are selling TOMORROW! Bright and early. But, on Tuesday, the buyer called and said she wanted to change lenders. WHAT???? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I am a calm person who HATES confrontation. However, I pretty much let her have it! Now, I obviously don't want to lose her as a buyer because at this point we NEED our house to sell. We are COMPLETELY moved out and VERY stressed, NOT prepared to make another house payment. So, since we are selling by owner we were able to talk with her new lender. The good news is, the new lender has been NOTHING but helpful. She said she is SO sorry this has happened to us because we should have been notified LONG before Tuesday. She is working as hard and fast as she can to get this house closed before Zach and I have to go back to work on the 10th. I really need all of you to pray that this works out. I honestly don't know what we'll do. (I know what we'll have to do but I'm not prepared to do that.) I'm asking God to please give me peace that this will work out. I have a good feeling about this and the new lender, as I said, has ASSURED us that she can get this done. But, when we were ASSURED last time and it didn't happen, that doubt has just flared back up. However the woman told me that she REALLY wants our house. SO I feel like it will happen. But, until that check is in our hands we are still skeptical.
Please say some prayers for us!
Thanks girls! Love you!