On Birth and Cloth Diapers

First of all, I hope not to offend anyone but I'm annoyed.  I HONESTLY do not understand people who want to have their babies at home or are SO obsessed with having a natural delivery.  It's really annoying.  There are definitely things I have done as a mom that go against the medical profession for normal!  For example, we did NOT have quad testing done on either of our babies.  WHY would I?  I guess if Zach or I had some disorder/disease that was harmful we might but I just don't find the extra worry necessary during pregnancy.  We also opted not to give Bailey ALL of her imunizations.  As teachers, we both work with autism every day.  It's never been 100% proven that immunizations cause Autism but I also wanted to do whatever I could to limit the chances of my child getting it.   This is also why I avoid ALL seafood (tuna included) when I am pregnant.  But, people who preach about having babies with no medication are just nuts!  If you don't HAVE to put your body through that then why do it?  I feel the same way about those cloth diaper freaks!  The ones who act like if you don't use cloth diapers then your baby will most certainly grow up with a never-ending butt rash.  I'm not saying either is wrong (cloth diapers or natural childbirth) I just get annoyed with those people who act like it's the ONE and ONLY option.

Dr. Appointment (update)

*UPDATE*:  The hospital called this morning and scheduled my gender ultrasound for Monday afternoon.  I am SERIOUSLSY excited!

I had another OB appointment yesterday at 3:30.  This was re-scheduled from last Friday's appointment that was supposed to be at 2:50 because my doctor was delivering a baby.  When I got there about 3:05 yesterday (yes, I'm anal about getting there early) they said "Oh, the doctor is over at the hospital doing a delivery, do you want to re-schedule or wait?"  I said that since this was already a re-scheduled appointment I wanted to wait.  I'm so glad I did!  The nurse went ahead and called me back took my vitals and weight UGH!  I was really scared but I've only gained 4 pounds and if you've seen my pictures I am huge!  So, that is good!  About 4:10 the doctor came back.  Since they had cancelled all of her other appointments I was first in line!  YAY!  Of course it was just a normal check-up.  But, Baby's heartbeat was 141.  And I asked her lots of questions about some strange symptoms I'm having and she said her guess is that baby is a boy and everything I'm experiencing is normal.  So that's good.  We also put in the referral for my big gender ultrasound and the nurse said I can do it next week if the hospital has any openings.  I CANNOT WAIT!!!! :)

Sister, puppy, and the 17 week bump

This is a video of Bridget chasing Bailey.  All you can hear is me talking and it's fuzzy from my not-so-awesome cell phone but still cute! :)

And this is the 17 W 2 D baby bump.  I have an undershirt on today so you can see the bottom of it which is why it looks a little funny.  (Oh, and I wanted to say that this is Bailey's mirror) :)  That's why it's so dirty!  She loves to look at herself, lol.

17 weeks

No picture today.
I have been a little down because when the baby was still low in my pelvis I could almost always feel it moving around.  Now that it's moved about half-way up my belly I haven't been able to feel it for a week.  But this morning I have been able to feel it again and it's a WONDERFUL feeling.   We listen to little Estes every day and it's so funny because sometimes it will kick and you can hear it on the heart monitor even though I can't always feel it.  I also think it's very interesting (and maybe it's still coincidence) but I read that during this week the baby can start to hear voices and typically dad's first b/c it's deeper.  Yesterday while we were listening to it, Zach was talking to him/her and it REALLY started going nuts.  I couldn't feel it but you could really hear it kicking on the monitor.  I don't know how to explain what it sounds like unless you've used a fetal heart monitor before b/c it obviously doesn't sound like someone kicking a door down, lol.  It's more like a swooshing noise but it's very loud.  I can't wait until daddy and big sister can feel the baby move.  Bailey just LOVES that she is going to be a big sister and I am SO excited!  I will take a picture in my skirt tomorrow and probably post some pics of sister too.  I have a cute video of her playing with the new puppy and hopefully I can get it to load. 

Want to know the sex of the baby?

SO DO I!  Tomorrow, I have my 16/17 week appointment.  I hate my due date, lol.  I don't know why I care so much but I just wish she would move it by just FOUR days.  I'll be 17 weeks on Sunday.  So, we should schedule my Ultrasound at tomorrow's appointment.  We are all really anxious.  When we found out we were having Bailey we both really wanted a boy.  I just thought it would be fun to have a boy first becuase I have no brothers.  I just thought a boy could be the older/protective brother.  But, I honestly thought Bailey was a girl.  I never wanted to admit it though.  When we found out for sure she was a girl I could not have been happier.  So, this time I still don't care.  I did!  At first I was scared that this baby might be a boy but now I really don't care.  I really want to know though.  We are all really anxious.  So, what do you think?  BABY BLUE or PRETTY PINK?

Something Special

I was in the grocery store on Monday night and the FIRST person I saw was this adorable little Asian woman who was about 7 months pregnant.  Of course, who am I to guess how far along someone is.  I'm only 4 months and look about 10.  Either way, in that moment, I realized that there is something special about seeing a pregnant mommy and not feeling sorry for yourself because it's not you.  I felt so blessed in that moment to have this baby growing inside of me.  Even if I want to throw up every day and I have no energy.  I am still SO happy to have another baby and to give my daughter a sibling. 

Then, my heart hurt thinking about my friends who haven't experienced this but want to so badly.  Infertility is a sad reality for so many people and that makes me sad.  I pray for my friends and hope their babies come soon.

16 weeks (1day)

Compared to 13W 3 Day

I look a littler smaller than I did at 13 weeks.  I think I must have been really swollen then.

cravings and doppler

I have a huge addiction to tropical skittles right now!  It's too bad we are almost out of money until pay day on Sept 26th.  They sell them in the vending machine at school and I want them every day after lunch. 

On another note: The fetal doppler arrived yesterday. It took quite a while and I had to move in different positions, but we finally found baby's heartbeat.  The monitor won't measure how fast it is but at least we can hear it.  This morning when I tried on my own it didn't take me long to find it.  I think the denial is wearing off.  I'm looking forward to finding out the sex of the baby.  Can't wait to know what we're having!  I think it's probably a boy but I thougth Bailey was a boy and was surprised when the nurse said girl.  But, I was thrilled too.  So, I hope if it is a boy, I will be excited.  I'm still nervous about having a boy :)

Denial

I am living in denial.  About this baby, that is.  I'm not fearful of losing it.  I mean, I guess that's not completely true because I think to some extent all mothers have some fear of losing their baby.  The feeling I have is more of a disbelief that in 5 1/2 months I am going to have 2 children.  What if I love one of them more than the other?  What if I push the older one away because she is too rough and I'm tired?  What if I have severe post-pardum depression again?  What if breastfeeding makes me feel violated like last time and I can't do it?  Every time I have these thoughts I think about how most people do not just have one child.  We (most of us) start with one and then have more.  Before I was married I wanted a whole housefull of kids.  I was ALWAYS babysitting and I just knew my life would never be complete without LOTS of kids.  But, it's hard.  It's very hard to be a mom.  And, when Bailey was little and I was so depressed there were honestly days when I didn't think it was worth it.  Of course, that was a passing thought but still, I just don't believe that I am about to have 2 children.  However, I can feel the one inside me moving around so this must be a passing thought as well...

Loving too hard

Poor Bridget doesn't stand much chance with Bailey.  I had NO idea what it would be like to keep Bailey from loving her too hard!  She carries her around by the neck sometimes.  I have visions of my 2 week old being pulled from it's crib and drug down the stairs by my 4 year old!  This is definitely a good teaching process for our girl.  I have done LOTS of explaining that Bridget is a baby and she has to be careful with her.  Yesterday Bridget fell off the ottomon.  Bridget isn't big enough to get on the ottomon by herself so I wonder how she got up there?...
I think this is payback for when my mom had my sister and I put her on the couch at 2 weeks old and told my mom she crawled!  And, I asked if we could flush my sister down the toilet when my mom and dad brought her hoe from the hospital!

Hopefully Bridget survives and so does my newborn in the hands of his/her sister!

Bridget

This is our new puppy. 

Her name is Bridget.

She is 8 weeks old.

She was not cheap but she is a full-blood Shih Tzu and we think she's pretty adorable!

Zach thought it would be funny to give her a name that started with a B since our other dog is Benjamin and of course, our princess is Bailey.  Don't look for new baby to have a B name unless it's a boy.  Then, it MIGHT be a possibility.  But, we aren't the dug.gars.  We do love our new little puppy though.  She is very sweet and she loves her mommy.  If Baby Estes is a girl, daddy is in BIG estrogen trouble!

Puppies

Our neighbors have AKC registered Shih Tzu puppies.  They are ADORABLE!

I think we may have to buy one!

On sleep

SLEEPING CONFESSIONS:

* My husband and I don't sleep in the same bed.
* Bailey sleeps with me every night.
*Sleeping SUCKS right now!  There is NOT a comfortable position.  Woe the days of being 7, 8, 9 months pregnant!
*The baby WILL sleep in his/her own bed! 
*Bailey won't nap anymore.

Any questions?