Side Effects and Ailments

Yesterday I started what I would like to refer to as "The Pill Binge." It's not dangerous, it's just a "cocktail"-if you will of things I am taking to communicate with my ovaries that they need to start working PROPERLY! Here's the run down:

1 pre-natal vitamin (Morning)
3 500mg metformin (morning, noon, night)
3 1200mg Omega fish Oil (morning, noon, night)
1 clomid (before bed)
I will start the Guaifenesin on day 7 of my cycle (Sunday)
I will take 3 a day with my met.

Obviously, the clomid will only be for 5 days.

I feel ok except for my stomach. Metformin makes my stomach upset but only for a few days. The major side-effect is from the Nizoral I'm on for 4 days. I have a rash called

Tinea Versicolor (Below picture is EXTREME, mine is not nearly this bad!)


It looks pretty nasty but mine ONLY shows up at the base of my neck and under my right breast (Weird, huh)? Like I said, mine isn't nearly this bad but it does look like little raised red splotches. Anyway, the Nizoral is AWFUL! I only have to take it for 4 days. I do this about twice a year because according to the dermatologist, a lot of people have this but it never actually goes away. The nizoral is really strong and it makes me itch like CRAZY! I asked the pharmacist if it will effect my clomid and she looked it up and said no. The first time this rash showed up, I went to the dermatologist and he gave me Nizoral. But, he said DO NOT TAKE THIS IF YOU ARE PREGNANT! I laughed because we had been trying for so long that I knew I wasn't pregnant. Good thing I waited though! Because, I was! So, I went 9 months of pregnancy with this ugly rash but I didn't care! So, anway, the pharmacist said the Nizoral has no effect on clomid or what it can do for me which is good because believe me, I would NOT take it if it did.

I also have severe scoliosis. So, I have chronic back pain. I try REALLY hard not to complain about it but sometimes I just can't help it. So I take prescription Naprosen (which I also can't take when I get pregnant) again, I'll deal with it. The scoliosis itself does not hurt. Bones don't have nerves. What hurts is where the bones are laying. My spine looks like a backwards S. The top curve is 35 degrees and the bottom is between 52-54. At 55 degrees they HAVE to do surgery. The reason they didn't want to do it when I was younger is because the doctor in Little Rock (who is supposed to be the best in the nation, and I loved him) said that your bones don't stop growing until you are 25. He also recommended I have all my babies before I have the surgery. Well, of course I thought that would have already happened by the time I was 29! Anyway, I will deal with it. Probably for the rest of my life. At this point, we can't afford the surgery and the doctor here in Tulsa is a total jerk!! I wrote about him here.

Anyway, hoping, hoping, hoping for 2 lines @ the end of May! :)

I caved

I went ahead and called in my clomid. After talking with some friends, I have decided to take it days 3-7 instead of days 5-9. I also found where you can buy guaifenesin tablets. This is the ingredient in robitussin that is supposed to help cervical mucous. So, I will try this. Also, when I take the clomid on days 5-9 it makes me ovulate SO late. I've read more success stories on days 3-7. Except... I'm not really sure when I should count day 1. The doctors office says start with the first day of spotting but for me, that would make my cycles 10 days long. Anyway, I'll figure it out.

I'm very stressed out lately as well. Even though I'm a teacher, I still get paid through the summer. Basically, they take our 9 month pay and spread it out over the summer so that we don't feel destitute by the end of summer. But, my husband doesn't get paid in the summer because, even though he works for the school district, he is not a certified teacher. He is paid hourly. Therefore, we BOTH HAVE to teach summer school in order to get through the summer. I will admit that I really don't mind doing this because it's only 16 days and I make 20 dollars an hour which equals about 1800 dollars after taxes. Still, by the time mid July/August rolls around, we are out of money! The money that we make during summer school is NOT enough to get us comfortably through the summer. So, when we got our taxes this year, we put 2000 in our savings account. We totally planned on saving it for summer. Guess what? It's over half gone! We are expecting a small amount of money (about 500 dollars) in a few weeks for some work Zach did throughout the school year that will be paid as a stipend. But, basically, I have lost ALL hope of having any money left by the time summer comes! I know this is a little irrational and I also know where all of our money went last summer that kept us from having any. I also know that we did survive but not without missing a house payment and having to make arrangements to get it made up (which we are STILL doing). I have spent almost ALL of the past 6 years stressing about money and when I say something I get SO mad when people say 'Oh, I understand" when I KNOW they really don't. Have you ever honestly had to make the decision between gas in the car and taking your child to the doctor? I have! Or, donating a dollar to your work for a good cause or buying milk? I have done that too. Zach gets really mad at me and I hope he doesn't read this b/c he doesn't see things the same way I do. But, I am TOTALLY prepared to get a job in July if I have to!

Surgery and (in)Fertility

The two topics in the title are not related to each other :)

I have avoided posting this due to my irrational fears. But, sometimes it helps me to get it out, so that is what I will do here.
I took Bailey to the ENT doctor on Wednesday. I fully expected him to tell me that she needed a tonsillectomy. My tonsils were HUGE from birth and finally had to be removed when I was 13 due to chronic strep throat. Zach also had ear/throat problems and had his removed as a kid. Bailey's tonsils have also always been huge! I'm talking, like no room in the throat huge, just like her mama.

The doctor said Bailey has moderate hearing loss especially in her left ear due to fluid behind her ear drum. I thought there were drops or something that they could give her to clear that up. Apparently not. She is going to have to have surgery. Not only does she have to have tubes but the doctor is going to remove her tonsils and her adenoids. I understand that this is a common procedure that occurs thousands of times per day. I had it done and survived and so did the husband. But, I have serious reservations about this. I know this is COMPLETELY irrational but I am worried. What if she doesn't wake up? What if something goes wrong and I lose my little girl? I know, I know this is crazy talk! But, she's my only baby! (not that having more means you would want to lose one or that it would hurt less). I'm so scared! I know she will be fine! I am just SO protective of her. I also don't want her to suffer after it's over and to be miserable. I just keep praying everything will be fine. It's May 10 and the closer it gets, the more apprehensive I get!

Also, I took a month (or two, I can't really remember) off of my clomid. I called today to get a refill since I started spotting again this morning. I just don't know if it's the right thing to do, taking medicine I mean. I am going back and forth. I have to believe that God will bless us and not the medicine! But, I truely know that if we have another baby it will be because God wanted us to and not because I took a pill. I just feel like it at least helps to regulate my cycle and with it, that is something I can control. I just don't know if I should or not. I'm so frustrated.

Another first and emotions

Monday night while Bailey and I were hanging out on the front porch (remember, my child HATES to sleep so whatever I can do in the evening to tire her, I do it!) I heard a noise. It was the ICE CREAM TRUCK! HOW EXCITING! Ice cream is not really my thing (at least not usually) lately, I have been craving it. Anyway, I was SUPER excited becuase Bailey has never had ice cream from the truck before. So, I stood her close enough to the road that he could see her but safe enough that I could see her while I ran in the house to get some money. He drove up and I let her choose what she wanted. Chocolate fudge sicle! My girl loves chocolate. It was SO fun! Definitely an experience I want to remember. I didn't get any pictures because it happened so fast but I will always remember it.

Then, she tells Daddy to come outside because she wants to put on a show for him. When we asked what kind of show she says "It's for my baby sisters. They are in mommy's tummy." We both looked at each other like "yeah right." I tried to explain to her tha tthere are no babies in my tummy but she insisted the show must go on! So, she did a little dance routine and sang. It was, of course, the most adorable thing I've ever seen.

We go to bed Monday night and Bailey is still talking about her baby sisters. Then, DH says he is upset because we don't have another baby and he wanted lots of kids. And I say (Not so nicely) HOW DO YOU THINK I'M SUPPOSED TO GET PREGNANT WHEN WE NEVER DO ANYTHING AROUND THAT TIME AND WHEN I TELL YOU IT'S TIME YOU ACT LIKE I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT????? Apparently, he thinks I don't know what I'm talking about because I DON'T get pregnant EVERY time we try. And yes, my cycles are messed up and I was on clomid for 4 months and I don't ALWAYS know when I'm ovulating but By-God sometimes I know! This, of course, is AFTER he tells me that he thinks I'm not pregnant b/c I'm to negative about it. And, here he is all upset that we don't have more kids and telling our 3 year old that he doesn't know if we ever will. UUUUUHHHHHH! Men! Anyway, I love him and we WILL be trying to have another baby (as we have been but not as "hard core" as I would like) and yeah, I realize that sounds completely dirty but that's not how I meant it.

On a MUCH happier note:

We had a professional photographer come to our school a few weeks ago and take a picture of all of the staff's kids. She also did individual shots and Bailey's are UH-DORABLE! (as usual). I just love my girl so much!

A post with pictures... First trip to the Theater!

Today was Bailey's FIRST trip to the movie theater. Zach's dad and step-mom are visiting from Texas and wanted to take Bailey to see Rio. It was so much fun and I was SO excited. She did a great job! I wanted to get a picture with her too but she was sitting by daddy and memaw so I couldn't make that happen. It was still so much fun. :) Some of the pictures are dark because I couldn't get the flash to work.

I hate you CH.ASE B.ANK!

I called Cha.se B.ank today (oh and by the way, I always wondered why people put spaces and dots between words, then I realized it's because if someone does a search for Ch.as.e ba.nk without the dots on goo.gle and I hadn't put the dots in, then my blog would be one of the search items and since I am NOT ch.ase ba.nk I really don't want to come up as a search for them) :) Anyway, I called them this morning because I made our house payment on the 8th. On the 11th it cleared our bank. Today, we got a notice from them saying that they have not received our mortgage payment. UGH! I also have the receipt from the branch where I went to pay it (and have been paying it this way for 5 months now). So, I call them and of course I get their HELLISH automated system. it takes 3 minutes to get to the end of the automated system. At which, they ask for my zip code. When I type it in THREE times it says it's not recognized. Funny they didn't have any problem recognizing my social! So, I finally look up a different phone number for them and have to pretend I am someone looking to buy a new home in order to avoid putting in all of my personal info. (Oh, and by the way, this is AFTER I have been hung up on by the automated system SIX times because they don't recognize my zip code). So, I finally get through to an English speaking person (which is a big deal) and she transfers me to customer service since you can't talk to customer service through the customer service number, go figure). The wait time is 9-15 minutes. YAY! I get to now stay on hold to wait to talk to someone about this issue. After 13 minutes someone (non-American) answers the phone. I have a very hard time understanding him and he tells me that our payment was received but they applied it to March b/c that payment was never received. Then I have to explain that is not true because in March we received the e-mail saying thank you for your payment and I even have that returned check from the bank to prove the payment was made. Then he says well, that's because your March payment took care of February when you didn't pay. SO, I go on to explain that I have statements from EACH month we have lived in our house showing that we have not missed a payment. he says, ok, let me put you on hold and I will see what is going on. Then... after 25 minutes, I get disconnected. He FREAKING HUNG UP ON ME! So, I called Husband who is home today and told him what happened. Hopefully we get this straightened out! It's so frustrating that we have done nothing wrong and now they send us a letter threatening to take my house. Seriously! As if you don't have other people who have missed months of payments and you are threatening to take my house over one missed payment which wasn't even missed! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! That is why I hate you CH.AS.E B.AN.K! Forever, you are on my hate list! FOREVER!

sick, shopping, sun

As you know, Bailey has been sick. She finally finished round 2 of antibiotics yesterday. She is feeling much better today but in the evenings she is still very cranky and tired earlier than normal. It was a tiresome weekend even though it was fun. Friday afternoon I left work an hour early because Zach's mom called and said Bailey was really not feeling well and she wanted me. Normally, I wouldn't leave work early (it's hard when you are a teacher because someone has to cover your class) but since she was sick and we had an extra sub in the building I went home. She was exhausted by the time I got there so I put her down for a nap and about an hour in, my phone rang and that was the end of that. UGH! Saturday, I took her to Tar.get and bought her some new clothes. She looks SO cute in her new dresses. I also bought her some spray bottles which she thinks are for spraying everything from the television to the walls. So, they have now become outside toys! Sunday we got some sun. Zach's dad is in town and we had lunch at his grandma's house. It turned into a family reunion! Literally, I have never seen that many people at that house at one time! It was absolutely crazy! The house is small and they only have one bathroom so we wound up sitting outside for a couple hours. I'm a little pink today but I tan pretty well and I feel good getting a little color on this fat white skin! Last night Zach's dad and step-mom brought the Tangled movie over for Bailey and it was really cute. I definitely want to watch it again! We take princess back to the doctor on the 20th. Hopefully her ears are clear but if not, we'll be going to an ENT.

Tonsillectomy

Bailey just got off of a 10 day antibiotic on Friday. Yes, Friday, April 1st. Today, I sent her with her Memaw back to the doctor (today was just one of those days I could not miss work). Luckily, I started calling right at 8 when they open. I got her an appointment for 9:30 with the doctor that I really like. She goes to a pediatric clinic and we just always let her see whomever is available. There is only one doctor there that I don't care much for and today she got to see the one the we both like. Anyway, she had been on antibiotics for an ear infection. Today, when she woke up she had a fever of almost 100 and was coughing a lot so I decided we better go back. Guess what? She has ANOTHER ear infection. This time, it's so bad they also gave her drops because they said she has got to be in pain. She's such a tough girl, she hasn't complained of her ears hurting at all. Anyway, she's now on a different antibiotic, robitussin, tylenol/motrin, and pain drops for her little ears. She has to go back on the 20th and if things do not improve, they are recommending a tonsillectomy!!!! :( Granted, Zach and I have both had one and I know it's common procedure but the thought of my little baby being put under anesthesia is heartbreaking to me! Not to mention a sore throat when it's over. So, I'm hoping and praying her ears clear up and the swelling in her tonsils go down. This is a hard time for mama and daddy too. We hate it so much when she is sick. :(