Thursday, March 17, 2011

Death, Birth, Life

This was my Tuesday.
We lost an angel from work last week. One of my co-workers, fellow teachers, died last Thursday. She was only 58. We knew her cancer was back and there wasn't much they could do. We knew she wasn't going to make it. I didn't think I would be so upset. She was honestly the sweetest, nicest, most caring person I have ever known. She loved everyone and would do anything for any of us. I attended her funeral on Tuesday morning. It was so sad.

After the funeral, I picked up a cake mix and decorations for Zach's birthday cake. Bailey helped me bake him a cake for his 31st birthday. As you can see, she would rather eat the batter.
Then, we drove to the hospital and waited the arrival of one of our best friends new baby boy. He was born around 8:30 PM with a full head of jet black hair and as cute as he can be!
The day was full of MANY emotions and by the time we got home, I just completely melted. I don't like getting upset in front of Zach so I just hid all of my sadness (after all, it was his birthday so I didn't want to put that on him for sure!) But, Wednesday morning, we got up and around and went back to the hospital to see the baby again. I was a complete mess. I cried the whole time I took a shower. I am SO happy to have a new baby in the "family". We are not biologically family but we are all so close that we consider ourselves family. At the same time, I am SO sad that God hasn't blessed us with another baby yet. I am sure there is a reason but I don't know what it is and honestly, I'm starting to feel like there isn't a good reason. I will love Baby Logan just as much as I love his sister and cousin I just wish I could have a baby too. Zach said that God's plans for us are not the same as others and I know that. But, this pain I feel on a daily basis because my body doesn't work like most other women, is horrible. I know that there is no way for him to understand but for the first time, I actually feel like he cares that I am sad and hurting and that makes a huge difference!


The Anglin Family said...

I'm sorry about your coworker. It's tough to swallow. I'm sorry you are feeling this way, if you ever need anything, you know where to find me. Hugs and prayers!

Eric said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Riggs Family said...

Wow! What an emotional day! I saw your comment on the In this Wonderful Life blog and as a Melody too, I always have to click when I see someone else with my name. I teach 8th grade too. Weird. Hope you have a good weekend! I'll be praying God blesses you with a baby soon.

PS... I had started to comment before but didn't realized my husband was signed in to Google. Hence the deleted comment.

twondra said...

I'm so sorry about your co-worker. That sounds so hard. I'm always here for you. ((HUGS))