Done!

Today is CD 9 Clomid Day 5. I finished! Day 4 was GREAT. I felt really good most of the day. I think I'm having some blood pressure issues because several times, I felt really bad and had some split seconds of feeling like I was blacking out. But, I was so happy to be rid of the headache! Today, it has graced me with it's presence again! I don't really think this is related to the clomid. I kind of think I haven't been drinking enough water. I hope the clomid works even though I've not always taken it with water.

I did get some great advice/help from the pharmacist this morning. I called to ask if I could take 1/2 a lortab (hydrocodone) with my clomid. She said she recommends I try Omega 3 with Fish oil. She said I should take 6-8 1200 mg PER DAY! But, she said they do the same thing as Metformin PLUS they are a natural anti-inflamatory. I sure hope it works. I guess it's also good for baby development in the womb. Anything that helps, I'll try it. So, I bought some this morning and they are HUGE but cheap so it's ok :)

I guess I'll update on Wednesday after my follicle scan. I'm really nervous but I am praying it will go well.

E-M-O-T-I-O-N-A-L me. (and an ADORABLE photo)

Ok, I am now on cycle day 7, clomid day 3. The headache is gone! YAYYYY! I'm still a little dizzy, and I haven't had any more cramping. But, today, I just want to cry. I'm not sad, I just feel really emotional. We went to wal-mart to buy groceries and Bailey was cranky because she was hungry so I stopped in at the McD's inside walmart and got her a hamburger. She acted MUCH better after getting some food in her tummy but I was a wreck. I was trying to shop for groceries without spending much money. I can hardly wait for school to start and normal paychecks again. I know come September we will be fine but until then, I feel really poor. So, there I am, standing in the pasta aisle and my child starts screaming for sponge.bob maccaroni. Of course, it's 60 cents more than just regular mac and cheese AND, I have four boxes at home of regular. But, I can't take it so I throw it in the basket and move on stopping for a second to wipe some tears. I know it's the medicine, I know it is but I can't talk myself out of these emotions. I'm still really positive. I can't even consider this not happening for us. I honestly feel that we are going to have another baby and I can deal with this. I'm so happy that I have only 2 days of clomid left.

Also, I have to share this picture with you. Zach made these for Bailey and I LOVE them. I am so in love with her! She makes my heart happy. :)

Headache, Dizziness, Cramping

Cycle days 5 and 6 have not been wonderful. I'd like to say right now that I'm not complaining. I understand the side-effects of this medicine and I am willing to take it to have another baby. That said, I am completely miserable right now. I don't even think this headache is related to the medicine. I really think it's because I have low progesterone. I started to worry about it becausse this cycle was really short and very light. But then I realized... the cycle I just had is in the past, we're working toward the next one. What happened during this one, really doesn't matter. I am SO optimistic about this cycle. I'm really praying and hoping and praying some more that we can give Bailey a little brother or sister in April. I am looking forward to cycle day 10! I will be done with my clomid!! It's been over 3 years since I took this stuff and I have NO idea how I felt back then. I don't remember any side-effects! Not that it means I didn't, I just don't remember. Please continue to pray for us!

What time is it?

I was so nervous about taking my clomid this morning. I kept thinking, do I take it with my met? Do I take it with my Pre-natal? Do I take it with food? Do I have to drink water? AAHH! What time is it? Do I need to make sure I write down what time it is and take it at the same minute EACH day? AAAHH! I have a meeting to go to on Friday. Will I have to make sure I remember to take it at the same time during my meeting? Should I set an alarm on my cell phone?

SO, here is what I did. Ate a slice of peanut butter toast with strawberry jelly, took all three pills in the same swallow, WITH COFFEE, at 11:14 AM. I have to just believe this will work. I've already given the hubs next weeks "schedule" haha. I really appreciate all of your prayers. I didn't forget how hard it was when I wanted a baby before Bailey but those feelings have been under a rock for a while. Now, they are coming back and I am scared.

Documenting

I've been documenting EVERYTHING about this cycle on a blog draft. Tomorrow I start the fertility medicine. I know it's only day 4 but when I was trying to get pregnant with Bailey I remember constantly searching for early pregnancy symptoms. So, this time, I decided I would start documenting from day 1. PLEASE pray for us. I really want a positive outcome!

Right on time

So, I did start right on time! Can you believe it? Yeah, me either. Anyway, I start the clomid on Tuesday. I'll keep you posted on my mood and if my husband can stand to be around me by the time I'm done taking them on Saturday :).

Adding to our family Update:

I went to the OB this afternoon to take a pregnancy test. I'm technically not supposed to start my cycle until tomorrow but you all know how that goes! None of us that struggle to get pregnant EVER have normal cycles. So, I got to the doctors office and started spotting. It's ok because on the way, I prayed that whatever happened, I would have peace about it. As soon as I went into the bathroom to pee in the cup, I knew I wasn't pregnant. I was ok. Partially because Bailey was with me and she was VERY distracting b/c she was terrified of the elevator and then terrified when she realized where we were b/c she HATES Dr's offices.

Anyway, I'm not pregnant but I did get some good news. (Well I guess it's good). I am scheduled for a Folli scan on Aug. 4. I'm REALLY nervous. I've NEVER had a folli scan before and they are going to check for cysts too. Please, please, please pray that everything goes well. I know a good folli scan doesn't guarantee a pregnancy but I'd much rather see good follies than hear that I have a blocked tube. I also was given clomid that (as you all know) I start on days 5-9 of my cycle. I'm REALLY feeling optimistic about this cycle. Please say a prayer for us!

When it's too hot to play outside...

You go to Dollar Tree and spend 10 dollars on inside things. The heat index has been well over 105 for a few days. We can't go outside more than 10 minutes without her wanting to come back in. So, I decided we needed some inside things to do. I just can't let her watch cartoons all day!Bailey is actually REALLY good at stringing beads onto the pipe cleaners. I was afraid her fingers would be too small but she made a bracelet all by herself and had a lot of fun.

Look in your dictionary...

,turn to the page that reads "Terrible Twos," look at the picture. That's my child. I feel horribly about this! I really do! I honestly don't know what to do with Bailey. She is extremely opinionated. She SCREAMS if she wants something and I can't get it for her RIGHT THEN. This is a very hard time for a mommy. I do have a plan, though. Bailey isn't very regimented. We have no schedule. We don't eat on a schedule, sleep on a schedule, or play on a schedule. It's my fault but it's because I don't work over the summer (and neither does Zach) so we don't really have anything to do. I think Bailey is suffering though and I'm really emotional about it. I need to get her on a schedule. I have decided to print out some clocks and make a chart for her with stickers. I'll decide when we are going to do things like meals, snacks, bath, bed, and naps. Even if I set times between 9-10 for snack or whatever, at least we will be more structured than we are now.

I think I'm also really emotional because I am now on day 6 of the 2ww. There are babies EVERYWHERE! It seems like every other FB friend is either having their baby this week or finding out the sex of their baby this week. I really didn't think it would bother me. I have a beautiful little girl, how could I want anything more? But, I never only wanted one child. Now, I worry how long it's going to take to get another one. I don't know why I'm so upset about it but I just want to eat ice cream, not gain any weight from it, and cry. It doesn't help that there are people in my life who frequently comment "Well, maybe you can't have another one? I really don' think you will, I think something is wrong." I don't think they understand how horrible that feels. Unless you are a woman who wanted NOTHING more than to be a mom and then had to struggle to be one, you can't understand how that comment feels and even when I try to tell them that that is one of the meanest things to say, they still say it the next time we talk about me wanting another one. Anyway, I am hoping and praying that in 8 days I won't have to worry about it anymore.

And, I want to apologize to those of you who are still waiting for you FIRST one. I may not have waited as long as you but I literally was in anguish a lot worse than this, the first time around. I do understand how you feel and just know that I frequently pray for you!

Just in case...

you doubted my coolness as a mom...


Yes, this is a sandbox in my living room that I filled with water. She got a new water/sand toy from my mom yesterday. She really wanted to play with it but it's raining. So, I improvised. However, I'm sure I'll have to clean it all up before hubs comes downstairs and asks what the heck I was thinking, lol. Also, in my defense, she has been running a mid/high fever since yesterday so I feel bad for her.

You can see she is having a good time. She said "Mommy, I'm swimming in the house." Then she started laughing hysterically and said "Isn't that funny?" Her fever is a lot lower this morning but still there. I hope this cool water helps.

5 years ago today...

OK, I know these pictures are HORRIBLE but our photographer was AWFUL as well. Still, I've never shown these on here so here you go :)

Happy 5th Anniversary, Zach! I love you so much.

Rain and The Hula

Zach's step-mom bought Bailey this little outfit. It is SO adorable. Bailey says "Now I can show everyone how to do the Hula!" She's so funny. The second picture isn't supposed to be black but apparently the camera has a mind of it's own this morning. Her face was so cute in it though that I put it on here anyway. I'm sure the hubs can fix it later. He's pretty good about that.

It's been raining a lot lately. The other day, since there was no lightning (in case you are going to ask like my M-i-l did, lol) I let Bailey play in the rain. She had a GREAT time, as you can see...

I love this picture. She looks like a little football player, haha.

My baby is such a roly poly!

Peek-A-Boo

Bailey has been taking swimming lessons this summer too. She's had 3 lessons now and she's doing GREAT. I don't have any pictures becuase the girl comes to my mother-in-laws to do the lessons so it really just looks like more pictures of her in "memaw's pool." Yesterday's lesson was putting your face in. She wasn't too fond of that but she lived... Imagine, she lived, lol. She's a little drama mama and she cracks me up. She sometimes acts like the smallest things will kill her. Last night, her blanket fell off of her and she was screaming bloody murder until I covered her back up. I love her so much! She's the best thing ever.

Also, we got a new car! It's a Buick Rendezvous. This is NOT ours but it looks exactly like this, color and all. WE LOVE IT! It's a 7 passenger and has a great warranty. It also dropped our insurance by over 400 a year and the payment is the same as our old car. SCORE! :) Now, we have room for that baby brother Bailey keeps asking for. I hope it happens soon. I really want aother baby!

SO much to post...

One year ago today...We bought a "Happy Half Birthday" cake for Bailey. She was just 18 months old. She was so much smaller and so cute. A year later, she is still SO cute!

Today, Bailey is 30 months. I CANNOT even begin to tell you how much she has changed over the past year. She can say ANYTHING! She is SO smart and so much fun. Yes, there are days when she wears me completely out but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Her only "problem" right now is her whining. She has started whining a lot lately when she wants something. I'm hoping it's just a phase and we've been working through it. Other than that, she's just so wonderful. She's started going potty in her potty chair a lot more. Though, she still won't tell me when she needs to go so I have to remember to take her. She has started drinking out of other kinds of sippy cups which is a HUGE deal. She only would use ONE kind of cup for the longest time and they are, of course, the most expensive. So, I'm glad she's getting over that. The next big step is getting her into her own bed. I'm not working on it, but I do plan too.

I hope all of you had a great 4th. I have so much to post but I will leave you with this for now.