Wednesday, April 15, 2009

On my heart today...

When Zach and I decided we wanted a baby, I can honestly say I was in an almost DAILY prayer routine over our child and everything that goes along with being pregnant. I would say I prayed every single day but that would probably be a lie! I am sure there were days I missed but not many! Now that Bailey is here, I still pray for her almost daily. At night when I go to bed I pray that God will protect her through the night and the following day, let her sleep peacefully, and help me to be the best mother I can be. I just feel like it is NECESSARY to pray over your child(ren), your spouse, and yourself. I will admit to feeling "less than Christian" at times and I SO struggle with always doing the right thing which sometimes gets confused with me thinking that I'm perfect. I'm NOT perfect in ANY way, shape, or form. I do, however, try to always consider my actions before they are made. I don't actually WANT to be perfect but it would make my life easier (wouldn't it all of us, :) ). I guess what I'm trying to say is that I struggle with doing the right thing (even though the things I worry about wouldn't seem that big to other people) but I am saved by Grace just like everyone else who is a Christian and I believe that God is watching over me and helping me get through life. Without him, I don't know where I would be! Being a good mother is more important to me than almost anything. So, I pray and I seek God's guidance on a daily basis for my family. God blessed us with Bailey and she is the most precious gift we have. And, now that we are "TALKING" about baby number 2, I pray about that. HOW could Zach and I NOT pray for our child(ren) and each other? It just doesn't make any sense!

Which is what brings me to my next point:

I read A LOT of blogs! Most of the ones I read are about infertility, people struggling to have babies, people who have lost babies, or have sick babies. It honestly breaks my heart when I read someones blog and find that they are not a Christian. WHERE do they think that baby came from? That baby that is in their womb or in their arms, who created it? Who placed it where it is today? I have NEVER lost a child and I CANNOT nor do I pretend to imagine what that feels like. My baby is perfectly healthy and always has been so I have NO idea what it feels like to have a sick child. But, I did struggle for SEVERAL months trying to get pregnant and it was VERY hard for me! There were times when I would say "God, why are you not hearing my prayer? Why don't we have our baby yet?" But those women who have been blessed with beautiful marriages and babies, how can they not believe in God? I was reading a blog this morning about a girl who struggled to get pregnant and now is due to have a baby soon. She was blogging about how Easter is no big deal, crappy weather, nothing to talk about. How can you say that? I'm not so naive that I think everyone out there is a Christian, I'm just NOT! I teach at a public school for goodness sake! But, I'm asking you, those of you who read this, PLEASE, pray for those who are not believers! I feel for those tiny babies that will soon be born into non-Christian homes. Those innocent little ones who may not hear about Jesus and what he's done for us! Pray for those babies, and those families who don't know Christ! Pray that through their loss, infertility, sickness, and despair that they will STILL SOMEHOW be able to see God's grace, and the light at the end of the tunnel!

And to those of you who are STILL struggling and hoping for your own babies, I'm still praying for you! I DO know it's hard to wait! But, the prize is worth it!

Love you all!



Mimi said...

I am prayong right along with you honey.


Kathryn said...

You said this with so much passion!

I was "nanny" to a child many years ago. In my heart i still consider him my own, although i moved away when he was 27 months. He's older now & has a MySpace page.

I can't tell you my sorrow when i read he is an atheist. I wanted to write him mom (who i'm still in contact with) & say: "You raised my baby to be an atheist? How could you do that to him."

Prayer, & living a life that honors God, are our only options.

Ashley said...

PRAYING that everyone who doesn't believe begins to;)