Monday, February 14, 2011

6 a.m. sucks!

That is my facebook status today. I am finally back at work after 13 days off! It's the middle of February and it's the first day we've been to work in February! The snow is finally melting and I'm hoping for NO MORE snow this season! As it is, we will be in school until June! YUCK!

On another note:

I wrote a letter to my grandpas new wife. Let me explain:
exactly 2 weeks after Bailey was born, my grandma passed away. I was crushed because she didn't ever get to meet my baby girl. When we were struggling to get pregnant and I was on clomid, metformin, and everything else I could think of to help in the process, I had a constant nagging feeling that I was not going about this the right way. In my heart I KNEW that God wanted me to trust him for a baby and I didn't need the medicine. But, with the diagnosis of PCOS and my constant lack of cycles, the fact that I couldn't lose weight, and since I hadn't gotten pregnant, I just didn't have the faith that God could give us a baby (or would) without the medicine. So, I did what I knew I needed to do. I called my grandparents and asked them to pray for us. I said "I know God wants to give us a baby and I know he wants it to happen without any medical interventions but I just have a hard time believing it can happen." They prayed, they prayed hard, EVERY day. A month later, we found out we were having a baby. So, obviously when my grandma passed, I was so sad that she didn't get to meet the miracle she prayed for.

Exactly one year after my grandma passed, my grandpa re-married. The woman he married had been a family friend for a long time and had also lost her husband years before. Reta is her name and she (as my dad says) is the closest person to Jesus that he knows. A couple weeks ago, I was in the bathroom preparing to take a shower and I asked God how I was going to get my next baby. I said "God, what if this medicine doesn't work? What if I don't get pregnant again? My grandma is gone, who will pray for us?" Then, instantly, in my heart, I KNEW God spoke to me. He said "Melody, I gave you a new grandma. Write her a letter and ask her to pray."

Last Monday, I received a letter back from my "new grandma." She was overjoyed that I had asked her to pray for us. She and my grandpa have been praying and in my heart, I KNOW baby number 2 will be with us soon!"

I don't know why God works the way he does but I am so thankful for his promises. I am so thankful for people like my grandpa and Reta who not only pray when they say they will, but they also mean it.

Friday, I was supposed to go back to the doctor for my follicle scan. But, I told Zach, I don't need to know. I don't need to know how many eggs are there. I don't need anything but to know that God is going to bless us again. Maybe this is too personal to share here but when I get pregnant it will be all to God's glory! It will be because of HIM and not because of anything else.


The Anglin Family said...

I'm glad my kids went back to school today, trust me! I am hoping for no more snow but they are predicting snow in march?

I am praying for you, always. We sometimes have to literally hand it all to Him....

The Pifer's said...

You are beyond the sweetest woman ever! I love that your new grandma is praying for you, your 'grandma-grandma' is watching and praying from heaven and you are praying for me, likewise I am praying for you. You are a sweet and dear friend to me, I cherish that I have had the chance to get to know you. Thank you for being there for me, always!


Brooke said...

I am praying for you all. I understand the struggle (I know it's hard to hear considering I have 2 babies), but I've been there. We finally just gave it all to God...we stopped 'trying'(even though my RE wanted us to track all my temps, CM, etc). The surgery didn't seem to work, but God did. I do know now why He made us wait so long for #1. (that's another story).