A Revelation

From my 3 year old:

I was VERY upset with Bailey this morning because she wet on the floor THREE times. She's been potty trained for well over 2 months and I cannot figure out why she is doing this. I was upstairs putting towels and blankets away and I heard a noise. I turned around and looked over the balcony to see Bailey wetting on the floor downstairs. I marched right down and swatted her little fanny! I told her it is not nice to wet on the floor and I'm tired of her doing it. And in the sweetest voice, her exact words were, "Mommy, but if I apologize, then you won't be mad anymore and it will be ok."
Immediately I didn't know how to respond because I thought, this must be how God feels when we choose to sin and think "oh well, I can just ask forgiveness later." I know the difference is that God really does forgive us and doesn't remember our sins. And, even though Bailey apologized to me, I didn't forget that she wet on the floor THREE times today. But, it did make me think about the choices we make. I had to explain to her that even though she says she is sorry (which I appreciate, and I told her that) that does NOT make it ok to continue to do something that I've asked her not to do.

I just thought it was interesting to have such a revelation from such a little person.

Fibbing

Bailey has been telling "fibs" lately. It's kind of funny but at the same time, we are trying to teach her that it's not nice to say things that aren't true when they are not nice. Sometimes, she makes up stories about herself being a princess and all the things that she did that day. That type of stuff is fine. I'm struggling with how to teach her the difference between pretending, and lying. Last night, she dramatically fell to the floor and said "Daddy kicked me down." Um, really? I was standing right there and he did not and would not EVER do that to her! She often tells us that memaw hit her or pushed her down. That's about as true as I am green! I mean, it's funny the stuff she makes up, but it's really bad if she ever said this and someone heard her and turned us in to DHS. Anyone who knows her IRL knows that she is OVERLY dramatic! But people who don't know her might think that she is telling the truth.

Last night she even said (which was not an example of lying but it's funny so I'm sharing ;)
"Daddy, I found this dress in my closet and it is purple, and I like purple but purple is not my color!" She said this hand on hip and all. I was CRACKING up! DRAMATIC! That's what I should have named her!

Make-over

I had a blog make-over! Bailey has grown up so much since my previous pictures were taken. Plus, I wanted something new and I LOVE the new colors. I can't afford to pay someone to create my blog for me (plus not that many people read it so there's not much point) but I'm happy with how it turned out. The bottom picture in the header is from the other night when Bailey took my make-up and wiped it all over the bathroom. She's SUCH a stinker but I love her anyway. :)

6 a.m. sucks!

That is my facebook status today. I am finally back at work after 13 days off! It's the middle of February and it's the first day we've been to work in February! The snow is finally melting and I'm hoping for NO MORE snow this season! As it is, we will be in school until June! YUCK!

On another note:

I wrote a letter to my grandpas new wife. Let me explain:
exactly 2 weeks after Bailey was born, my grandma passed away. I was crushed because she didn't ever get to meet my baby girl. When we were struggling to get pregnant and I was on clomid, metformin, and everything else I could think of to help in the process, I had a constant nagging feeling that I was not going about this the right way. In my heart I KNEW that God wanted me to trust him for a baby and I didn't need the medicine. But, with the diagnosis of PCOS and my constant lack of cycles, the fact that I couldn't lose weight, and since I hadn't gotten pregnant, I just didn't have the faith that God could give us a baby (or would) without the medicine. So, I did what I knew I needed to do. I called my grandparents and asked them to pray for us. I said "I know God wants to give us a baby and I know he wants it to happen without any medical interventions but I just have a hard time believing it can happen." They prayed, they prayed hard, EVERY day. A month later, we found out we were having a baby. So, obviously when my grandma passed, I was so sad that she didn't get to meet the miracle she prayed for.

Exactly one year after my grandma passed, my grandpa re-married. The woman he married had been a family friend for a long time and had also lost her husband years before. Reta is her name and she (as my dad says) is the closest person to Jesus that he knows. A couple weeks ago, I was in the bathroom preparing to take a shower and I asked God how I was going to get my next baby. I said "God, what if this medicine doesn't work? What if I don't get pregnant again? My grandma is gone, who will pray for us?" Then, instantly, in my heart, I KNEW God spoke to me. He said "Melody, I gave you a new grandma. Write her a letter and ask her to pray."

Last Monday, I received a letter back from my "new grandma." She was overjoyed that I had asked her to pray for us. She and my grandpa have been praying and in my heart, I KNOW baby number 2 will be with us soon!"

I don't know why God works the way he does but I am so thankful for his promises. I am so thankful for people like my grandpa and Reta who not only pray when they say they will, but they also mean it.

Friday, I was supposed to go back to the doctor for my follicle scan. But, I told Zach, I don't need to know. I don't need to know how many eggs are there. I don't need anything but to know that God is going to bless us again. Maybe this is too personal to share here but when I get pregnant it will be all to God's glory! It will be because of HIM and not because of anything else.

Record breaking

Snowfall, that is. These pictures do no justice to the amount of snow that fell on us Tuesday. The first 2 pictures I took through the screen door (mostly because I can't get the screen door open). You can see the top of Bailey's big wheel trike sticking out of the snow. You can also see that the snow goes HALF WAY up our privacy fence. We have 4 ft drifts of snow in our backyard. The snowfall total for our city was 21 inches, NOT including drifts. This was quite the storm. So, we're on a mini-vacation from work. It kind of stinks b/c we are going to have to be in school until June now! Zach wants to try to get out and shovel the driveway today but honestly, we don't have anywhere we need to go. Bailey only wears pull-ups to bed and she's almost out. We have 4 left but if she doesn't wet during nap time I re-use the nap one for bed time (you gotta do what you gotta do). Luckily, I went to the grocery store on Sunday and got everything we needed.

I started my clomid again today. UGH! Something I totally didn't want to have to do. But, I really feel better about all of this. I know that God has a plan and it is not my plan. I don't know that I will get pregnant this cycle, but I do know that someday, we will add to our family. I hope all of you are staying warm!