16 weeks (1day)

Compared to 13W 3 Day

I look a littler smaller than I did at 13 weeks.  I think I must have been really swollen then.

cravings and doppler

I have a huge addiction to tropical skittles right now!  It's too bad we are almost out of money until pay day on Sept 26th.  They sell them in the vending machine at school and I want them every day after lunch. 

On another note: The fetal doppler arrived yesterday. It took quite a while and I had to move in different positions, but we finally found baby's heartbeat.  The monitor won't measure how fast it is but at least we can hear it.  This morning when I tried on my own it didn't take me long to find it.  I think the denial is wearing off.  I'm looking forward to finding out the sex of the baby.  Can't wait to know what we're having!  I think it's probably a boy but I thougth Bailey was a boy and was surprised when the nurse said girl.  But, I was thrilled too.  So, I hope if it is a boy, I will be excited.  I'm still nervous about having a boy :)

Denial

I am living in denial.  About this baby, that is.  I'm not fearful of losing it.  I mean, I guess that's not completely true because I think to some extent all mothers have some fear of losing their baby.  The feeling I have is more of a disbelief that in 5 1/2 months I am going to have 2 children.  What if I love one of them more than the other?  What if I push the older one away because she is too rough and I'm tired?  What if I have severe post-pardum depression again?  What if breastfeeding makes me feel violated like last time and I can't do it?  Every time I have these thoughts I think about how most people do not just have one child.  We (most of us) start with one and then have more.  Before I was married I wanted a whole housefull of kids.  I was ALWAYS babysitting and I just knew my life would never be complete without LOTS of kids.  But, it's hard.  It's very hard to be a mom.  And, when Bailey was little and I was so depressed there were honestly days when I didn't think it was worth it.  Of course, that was a passing thought but still, I just don't believe that I am about to have 2 children.  However, I can feel the one inside me moving around so this must be a passing thought as well...

Loving too hard

Poor Bridget doesn't stand much chance with Bailey.  I had NO idea what it would be like to keep Bailey from loving her too hard!  She carries her around by the neck sometimes.  I have visions of my 2 week old being pulled from it's crib and drug down the stairs by my 4 year old!  This is definitely a good teaching process for our girl.  I have done LOTS of explaining that Bridget is a baby and she has to be careful with her.  Yesterday Bridget fell off the ottomon.  Bridget isn't big enough to get on the ottomon by herself so I wonder how she got up there?...
I think this is payback for when my mom had my sister and I put her on the couch at 2 weeks old and told my mom she crawled!  And, I asked if we could flush my sister down the toilet when my mom and dad brought her hoe from the hospital!

Hopefully Bridget survives and so does my newborn in the hands of his/her sister!

Bridget

This is our new puppy. 

Her name is Bridget.

She is 8 weeks old.

She was not cheap but she is a full-blood Shih Tzu and we think she's pretty adorable!

Zach thought it would be funny to give her a name that started with a B since our other dog is Benjamin and of course, our princess is Bailey.  Don't look for new baby to have a B name unless it's a boy.  Then, it MIGHT be a possibility.  But, we aren't the dug.gars.  We do love our new little puppy though.  She is very sweet and she loves her mommy.  If Baby Estes is a girl, daddy is in BIG estrogen trouble!

Puppies

Our neighbors have AKC registered Shih Tzu puppies.  They are ADORABLE!

I think we may have to buy one!

On sleep

SLEEPING CONFESSIONS:

* My husband and I don't sleep in the same bed.
* Bailey sleeps with me every night.
*Sleeping SUCKS right now!  There is NOT a comfortable position.  Woe the days of being 7, 8, 9 months pregnant!
*The baby WILL sleep in his/her own bed! 
*Bailey won't nap anymore.

Any questions?