And how's mommy?

This is a post by me, about me. 
Today is my first day back to work.  I'm doing great.  But, lets rewind a little...

After Bailey was born, I had HORRIBLE PPD (post pardum depression).  I never got to the point that I wanted to end my life or end my baby's life.  But I was constantly crying and depressed.  It was a horrible time in my life.  And, it lasted OVER a year!  I called the doctor several times.  I finally changed doctors and she did put me on an anti-depressant.  My OB with Bailey refused to give me medicine and kept saying "if it continues, call me back."  After 6 months, I was beginning to wonder how much longer it needed to go on.  I had a new doctor this time.  I told her about my depression with Bailey and she started me on meds at 28 weeks pregnant.  However, I was a little worried about taking it so I didn't start it until 34 weeks.  It has been a LIFE-SAVER! 

Breast-feeding has been an issue.  Part of my problem with Bailey was that when I would breastfeed I would get ridiculously depressed.  Later, I discovered that this is a newly discovered disorder.  Some women release a hormone that causes severe depression while breast-feeding.  This, combined with the fact that I had no medication, was a HORRIBLE combination.  Also, I don't produce much milk.  Even now, with Adilyn, I only pump about an ounce per day.  When Adi was about 2 weeks old, I called the doctor and had her up my dose of anti-depressants b/c I was starting to feel panic attacks when I would breast-feed and was feeling violated.  However, things are great now.

Breast-feeding is great for 2 reasons.  1. it benefits my baby.  2. I have dropped 41 pounds since Adilyn was born.  I only gained 7 while pregnant which means I'm 34 pounds lighter than I was when I GOT pregnant!  It's an awesome feeling and most of my pre-preg clothes are loose!  I will continue to pump before work and after work as long as I can.  I'm on supplements and I've been trying to exercise but I just don't have a lot of milk.  I wanted to share this because I know that PPD is something so many women go through and you should not feel bad or guilty if you have to be put on medication!

That's all for now.  I'm doing well and think I am going to enjoy being back at work.  I have a great job that allows me to be home during the summer with my kiddos.  I feel like I have the best of both worlds :)